


purrfectly human

by mysterywoozi (writers_haven)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Gen, M/M, Slow Burn, cat!woozi, i don't know anything about toddlers either, it's going to be very slow burn if i have anything to say about it tbh, like an actual cat, not a hybrid, not even joking, save me from myself, singleparent!hoshi, toddler!dino, why did i write this i have never owned a cat ever in my entire life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2018-09-02 15:52:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8673316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writers_haven/pseuds/mysterywoozi
Summary: There’s a soft rumbling coming from Soonyoung’s room. He figures it’s Jihoon, purring in his sleep as he sometimes does. He pushes his bedroom door open, expecting to see his tabby cat napping on his pillow.Instead, there is a naked man curled up on his bed.orthe one where cat!jihoon is magically transformed into man!jihoon





	1. the tail begins

“…I know, but Jun’s out sick, and–” Soonyoung’s exclaiming, hurrying down the hallway.

Jihoon opens his eyes lazily, tail flicking with annoyance that his lovely mid-morning nap has been interrupted. His human is hopping on one foot and pulling on a sock while cradling his weird little box between his ear and shoulder. A _phone_ , Jihoon thinks it’s called, but honestly the only thing he knows for sure is that he’s not supposed to push it off tables. He does anyway, because he wants to, and because it’s small and boring, unlike the _iPad_ – that one’s just as weird, but sometimes it has fish swimming in it, and one day Jihoon _will_ get one out and _eat_ it, just to spite Soonyoung who keeps laughing at him.

“Oh my god, you’re a lifesaver, I owe you one,” Soonyoung is saying now, shoving his arms into his puffy jacket. That means he’s going out. Jihoon hopes it’s to the pet store. He’s only been there once, but sometimes Soonyoung comes back from there with new toys, or a scratching post, or some treats.

“Meow,” Jihoon tells him, unfurling his paws from where they’d been curled under his body to trot over to Soonyoung.

“Channie!” Soonyoung calls instead of paying attention to him, so Jihoon winds around his human’s legs while the man tries to go further into the apartment. Soonyoung makes that noise with his teeth that means he’s annoyed. “Jihoonie, please, not now– Chan, sweetie?”

Well, if that’s how the big one was going to be. Jihoon runs off in search of the little one. He’s sitting up in his bed, rubbing his eyes sleepily, so Jihoon leaps up to join him, settling himself on Chan’s legs.

“Appa,” Chan yawns when Soonyoung (finally, humans are so _slow_!) catches up and pokes his head into the room.

“Can I come in?” he asks, and comes over to sit on Chan’s bed when the kid nods. He strokes Chan’s hair gently, saying, “I’m sorry, sweetheart, Appa has to go to work today.”

Chan starts to cry in protest. Jihoon doesn’t like the sound, but Soonyoung pulls the little one close before Jihoon can do anything. “Shh, sweetie, I know, we were supposed to spend all day together, I’m sorry. Just for half a day, okay? Just until 1pm. Then we can play as much as we want, alright?”

Chan’s wailing quiets slightly, but it doesn’t subside. Jihoon doesn’t really know what to do– he’s not that good with emotions, let alone _human_ emotions– so he just cuddles closer to the boy and purrs, rubbing his face on Chan’s stomach in what he hopes is a comforting way.

It takes a moment, but Chan starts to giggle, little hands pushing Jihoon’s head away. “Tickles,” he laughs, which is a human word Jihoon doesn’t really understand, but the little one is smiling now, so he counts it as a win.

Soonyoung presses a kiss to Chan’s forehead. “Seungkwannie-hyung will come and play while I’m gone. Is that okay? You like Seungkwannie-hyung, don’t you?”

Chan nods happily, already looking excited. Jihoon is much less so. Seungkwan is very energetic and very noisy and won’t stop trying to touch Jihoon. On the plus side, he tries to buy Jihoon’s love by giving him way more treats than Soonyoung ever does.

Soonyoung’s _phone_ starts screaming from the pocket that happens to be right in front of Jihoon. Jihoon hisses and leaps away, throwing Soonyoung a betrayed glance.

“Sorry,” Soonyoung says, not sounding very sorry at all, then snaps at the box, “yes, yes, I’ll be there in twenty, get off my ass!” and shoves it back into his pocket with a huff.

“Ass,” repeats Chan curiously.

“That’s– a bad word,” Soonyoung says quickly. “And you know the rules about bad words?”

“I can only say them in the bathroom,” Chan recites obediently. “And only when I’m angry!”

“That’s right, baby.”

There’s a series of knocks on the door. It must be Seungkwan. Jihoon bolts for the living room and heads for the highest perch– the fuzzy blue one close to the ceiling that Soonyoung installed only a month or so ago.

Soonyoung dashes out soon after, opens the door and lets Seungkwan in with a lot of hasty thanks. They talk for a bit, but Jihoon is more interested in Chan, who’s toddling out of his room with a dinosaur toy in one hand. When he was younger, he used to trip on the rug in the living room all the time. Understandable, since humans lacked the grace cats possessed, and children of all species were just clumsy in general. He hasn’t done it in a while, but it used to make him cry loudly, and Jihoon thinks he hates that sound more than anything in the world.

Thankfully, Chan makes it past the rug with no incident, and is promptly swept up into Soonyoung’s arms. “Bye bye, sweetheart,” he says, kissing Chan’s cheeks. “I love you. Be good for Seungkwannie-hyung, okay?”

“We’re gonna have a great time, aren’t we?” Seungkwan grins as Soonyoung hands Chan over to him. “Aren’t we, Channie?”

“Yeah, Seungkwannie-hyung!”

“Just don’t go overboard again,” Soonyoung warns. “Jihoonie, keep an eye on these two, will you?”

Jihoon’s ears twitch at the sound of his name. “Meow,” says Jihoon, by which he means, _I’ll try my best but Seungkwan is an idiot and Channie is too trusting_.

“Good boy,” Soonyoung tells him anyway, and says another round of quick goodbyes before he finally leaves and shuts the door behind him.

“Well, then,” Seungkwan says, hefting Chan higher up on his hip. “Have you two had breakfast?”

\---

True to form, Seungkwan spends a lot of time cooing over both Chan and Jihoon, feeds Jihoon way too many treats and gives Chan five of the melty brown squares Jihoon’s forbidden to eat, when Jihoon knows Chan is only allowed three. Jihoon forgives it because Chan looks so thrilled, and anyway Jihoon’s too busy playing with Seungkwan’s _phone_ , which is a lot more interesting than Soonyoung’s because it makes noise when Jihoon touches it. Each of the black and white rectangles make a different sound, too, which is absolutely _delightful_.

The humans spend some time playing that game where Chan dresses up like his dinosaur toy and smashes cardboard boxes (Jihoon hates that game because it means all those perfectly good boxes are stomped on, never to be slept in again, but it makes Chan happy, so he sucks it up like a mature adult) before settling down to watch something on the TV. This usually means pet-Jihoon time, so he saunters over. Seungkwan tries to pet him as he goes past, but Jihoon ignores him and goes for Chan instead, nudging his head under Chan’s little hand.

(“You’re so cold, Jihoonie,” Seungkwan whines. Jihoon just shuts his eyes, purring happily under his little human’s touch.)

And then it is the most sensible part of the day: naptime. Chan used to take naps twice a day, but now he only takes one. Jihoon doesn’t understand, but it’s still one more nap than Soonyoung takes, which is downright outrageous and the reason why Chan is Jihoon’s favourite. Jihoon curls up right next to the mass of tired boy and lets himself fall into a light doze.

Seungkwan shakes Chan awake after not nearly long enough a nap and ushers him out to have his second meal (humans, bafflingly, take _three_ per day!). Jihoon wants to nap some more, but he’s been tasked with keeping an eye on them, so he wanders out into the living room and perches on the back of the sofa, where he can see Chan making a great mess of his red noodle thing, getting a lot of red and noodle all over his face while Seungkwan tries desperately to keep it clean. It’s impossible, Jihoon knows from experience, but it’s also entertaining to see him try, so he just sits there and watches for a bit.

Suddenly, Jihoon’s ears twitch towards the door. That jingling of keys meant–

“Appa’s home!” gasps Chan when the front door swings open. He clambers down from his special chair-on-a-chair thing and runs straight for Soonyoung, throwing his arms open wide.

Soonyoung kneels and sweeps the boy into his arms, kissing him all over his (thankfully clean) face. “Hey Channie!” he laughs, sounding happy. He’s brought plastic bags with him, left on the the floor beside him in his haste to hug his son. Jihoon goes over to investigate. One smells like human food, but the other…

Jihoon takes a tentative sniff at the black plastic bag. It smells super weird, but he can’t identify the smell, so he pats at it with a hesitant paw. Whatever’s in there is hard and weirdly-shaped. Jihoon doesn’t trust it. He prods it a few more times just to make sure it doesn’t, like, explode or something.

“That’s a present, Jihoonie,” Soonyoung chides, taking the bag away. He strokes Jihoon anyway, so he knows Soonyoung’s not mad. He picks up the rest of the plastic bags and goes over to the kitchen area, where Seungkwan is washing the red off the dishes.

“Oooh, a present? Is it for me?” Chan asks excitedly, toddling behind his father.

“It’s for our family,” Soonyoung tells him, pulling out a star-shaped glass thing with a thick, shimmery liquid inside. “My client today gave it to me. It’s supposed to fill our lives with joy and laughter. What do you think, does it make a good centrepiece?”

“It’s pretty,” Chan agrees. Jihoon doesn’t think so, but he’ll wait until nobody’s around before he tries to push it over. Right now Soonyoung’s home, which means that Jihoon’s duty is done, which means that now is _naptime_. He slips into Soonyoung’s room through the ajar door and settles on the warm patch of sunlight in the middle of the bed. He smells his humans everywhere, can hear them puttering about the house, chatting about how they’re going to the cinema and the park and then grocery shopping. It’s homey, comfortable, familiar.

Life is good.

\---

The moment Soonyoung unlocks the front door, Chan’s dashing inside, heading straight for the toilet. Soonyoung sighs, relieved they made it in time. He remembers cleaning up a few too many messes in his time, which is part and parcel of being a parent, but it doesn’t make the job any easier.

He lets Chan get on with it and starts putting the groceries away. There isn’t much, since it’s just the two of them, and during the week Chan has lunch at nursery. Dinners aren’t usually anything too fancy either, since Soonyoung’s not exactly the best cook in the world. Tonight, though, he’s going to try making spicy fish stew. It’s a recipe Seokmin passed to him– and if Seokmin can do it, so can Soonyoung.

Chan comes into the living room just as Soonyoung puts away the last of the groceries. After the usual post-toilet checks (“Did you flush? Did you wash your hands? With soap?”) Soonyoung settles him down in front of the kid’s favourite Micheal Jackson concert and goes to change before starting dinner.

There’s a soft rumbling coming from Soonyoung’s room. He figures it’s Jihoon, purring in his sleep as he sometimes does. He pushes his bedroom door open, expecting to see his tabby cat napping on his pillow.

Instead, there is a _naked man curled up on his bed_.

Soonyoung can’t help it. He screams.

The man jolts awake. He hisses and backs away from Soonyoung a little, but doesn’t seem frightened. He levels a glare at Soonyoung, as if blaming him for interrupting his nap.

“Oh my god,” Soonyoung breathes shakily. Thankfully, Chan hasn’t seemed to hear him over the concert DVD, so he shuts the door and stands in front of it protectively. The only way this crazy naked trespasser is getting to his son is over his dead body.

The man is still just staring at him silently, so Soonyoung takes a deep breath. “Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house?” he demands in a low voice.

The man frowns. “I’m Jihoon,” he says slowly, like Soonyoung is crazy, “and this is my house.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is an exercise in posting without proofreading or any semblance of a plan. just like my entire svt fanfic experience so far tbh
> 
> i know what you're thinking
> 
> why cat!jihoon and not dog!soonyoung, since i know dogs but not cats
> 
> well, consider: jihoon being a Typical Cat and literally draping himself all over everyone when he wants attention (but being super prickly when he doesn't want attention)
> 
> is it in character?? i mean probably not. but then again, jihoon has koala'd onto dino before so maybe......???
> 
> please leave a comment letting me know what you think! 
> 
> also if you're interested in helping me proofread and/or brainstorm, especially with regards to cat or toddler behaviour, drop me an ask at [my kpop tumblr](http://mysterywoozi.tumblr.com)! i'd be very grateful for the help (and friendship)~


	2. help meow-t of this mess

Jihoon is surprisingly calm.

“This is– I don’t know who you got your info from, buddy, but Jihoon is the name of _my cat_ ,” Soonyoung is shrieking frantically, but Jihoon is too busy inspecting his new human body. He honestly hadn’t realised he’d somehow changed forms until he tried to meow and human words came out instead. The realisation is, admittedly, strange and rather frightening, but Soonyoung’s here. He’ll know what to do. He always does, even if it takes him a while to get there.

So Jihoon doesn’t worry about it. He flexes his fingers and his toes, extra curious about those fifth appendages he thinks are called _thumbs_. From the way he’s seen the humans use them, they seem useful in securing held objects, which is a definite upside to this being-human thing if it’s true.

“Are you even listening to me?” Soonyoung demands, panicked. “Who are you? And what have you done to my cat?!”

Jihoon ignores him. Sometimes when he’s being stupid it’s better to let him freak out a little bit. Like the time they ran out of wet food at feeding time and Soonyoung panicked so hard he didn’t notice Jihoon meowing and standing right next to the new bag of dry food for ten whole minutes.

Instead, Jihoon takes stock. As far as he can tell, he looks exactly like a regular human; he has ten fingers and ten toes, only two nipples, unnecessarily long arms and legs, no tail or whiskers or barbed tongue, and much, much less fur. His human penis is also very much unlike his cat penis, which is equal parts horrifying and intriguing. It warrants further investigation, so Jihoon reaches down–

“What are you doing, oh my fucking god,” Soonyoung is choking suddenly, grabbing Jihoon’s wrist desperately.

Jihoon blinks. “Are you finished freaking out?” he asks, this time paying attention to the sound of his voice. It’s nice, he decides. Easy to listen to.

Soonyoung splutters. “No, no I am _not_ finished freaking out, you haven’t given me a single rational answer! Who are you, how did you get here, how do you even know about my _cat_ –”

“I told you, I _am_ Jihoon. I don’t know how, but I am,” Jihoon explains patiently. If he wasn’t the one who’d been transformed he wouldn’t have believed it possible. How can he make Soonyoung believe him? “You found me five years ago eating garbage on the streets. Six months later you took me in. We’ve been together ever since.” Soonyoung still doesn’t look convinced, so Jihoon continues, “I didn’t actually like the taste of pickled sardines. I only ate them because it was that or rotting meat, but you thought I loved them and kept coming back to that alley with more.” It makes Jihoon smile, thinking back. They were so young then, he and Soonyoung both. “It took you two weeks to figure it out.”

That strikes a chord within Soonyoung, loosens his posture, widens his eyes in wonder. “N-No,” he breathes, staring at Jihoon with his mouth agape. “There’s no way. Is that– you can’t be– are you really Jihoonie?”

Jihoon nods, pleased.

Soonyoung makes a squeaking noise and promptly faints.

\---

“Right, so,” Soonyoung says, pacing. Jihoon had to smack his face (human hands are _huge_ , by the way) and call his name for a solid minute before he came to. “Okay. Okay, first things first, let’s get you into some clothes.” He strides over to his wardrobe and starts rummaging through it.

Jihoon frowns. The last time Soonyoung tried to put clothes on him he’d nearly clawed the man’s arm off. They restricted his movement, and that wool sweater was just weird and itchy. Even the collar he sometimes had to wear when he went out with the humans was pushing his limits.

“Why?” Jihoon complains. “Can’t I just go around like this?”

“No!” He can’t see Soonyoung’s face, buried in the wardrobe as it was, but he sounds horrified. “You’ll be cold, anyway. Here–” he tosses a pile of clothes on the bed, “–try these on. They’re a little small for me, so it should be just right.”

Jihoon narrows his eyes at the clothes mistrustfully. At a glance, he recognises the spotted T-shirt Jihoon likes to pull down when it’s air-drying in the living room, and the long pants Soonyoung only wears at home. They’re Jihoon’s favourite, because they’re soft and warm and comfortable to lay on. It makes him feel less apprehensive about this clothes thing. Marginally.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Soonyoung is saying, oblivious to Jihoon’s complete confusion. “I’m just going to check on Chan for a bit, then I’ll be back, okay? Don’t come out!”

Before Jihoon can say anything, he’s gone, closing the door behind him.

Leaving Jihoon alone.

With the clothes.

Jihoon sighs. He reaches for the pants first, sliding his legs through the holes as he’s seen Soonyoung and Chan do hundreds of times. He only notices the two little strings sticking out of the pants on the back after he puts them on; maybe it’s Soonyoung’s attempt to comfort him over the loss of his tail.

The T-shirt looks difficult, so he leaves it for last. The only other piece of clothing he’s been given is something he remembers seeing Soonyoung wear to sleep, sometimes, in the summer, but he doesn’t know what they’re called. It looks like the pants though, sort of, except shorter, so he pulls it on over the pants.

So far, so good. Time for the T-shirt. Now this one, this one is tricky. He’s seen Soonyoung pull these things over Chan’s head so many times, but he never really paid attention to which limb went where. Jihoon is smart, though, logical, so he figures the size of the hole probably corresponds to the size of the appendage going through it. Even so, the task of pulling it over his own head is truly an impossible one. He manages to get one arm through with a bit of squirming, but by then he’s lost track of the other holes and has doomed himself to flailing about trying to locate them while essentially blind.

It’s in this situation that Soonyoung finds him in, a few moments later.

“Oh my god,” Soonyoung says, sounding like he’s not sure if he should be amused or distraught. It’s a tone he gets with Dino sometimes.

“Help,” Jihoon grumbles, and evidently amusement wins out, because Soonyoung’s laughing as he rearranges Jihoon’s limbs, pulling the shirt this way and that, tugs the shirt over Jihoon’s head– and then, magically, Jihoon is wearing it.

“What,” is all Jihoon can say, patting the shirt on his chest in confusion. “How are you meant to wear those?!”

Soonyoung just laughs harder. “I’m sorry, I forgot you didn’t know– you just look so much like a regular man– oh my god, you’re supposed to wear the boxers _inside_ the pants, Jihoonie!”

Jihoon is already grumpy from having to wear clothes, and being laughed at isn’t helping. “What?” he snaps, utterly confused.

Soonyoung shakes his head and tugs both pairs of pants off. Jihoon steps out of them obediently, like he’s seen Chan do before, and Soonyoung pulls the two apart.

“These,” Soonyoung holds up the short pants, “are boxers. Underwear. You wear them underneath.”

“Underneath what?”

“Your pants.”

“Just pants? So if I wear,” what’s it called again, “a skirt, then I don’t have to?”

“No, you’d still have to, you have to wear them under everything.”

“What?” Jihoon doesn’t understand. Wearing two layers of clothes all the time sounds like _torture_. Humans are so fucking _weird_. “Why?”

Soonyoung huffs in the way that means he’s getting impatient. “Just– put them on, please?” He holds out the boxers and pants, right way round this time, for Jihoon to step in, the same way he does for Chan. Jihoon doesn’t like it, not at all, but complies, letting Soonyoung pull them up to his waist.

The pants are, indeed, very soft, Jihoon notes as Soonyoung pulls on the strings (that apparently belong in the front; Jihoon should’ve known better than to think Soonyoung was comforting him) and ties them into a little bow.

“There,” says Soonyoung, stepping back with a bright smile. “Feel better? Not so cold?”

Jihoon nods. He does, surprisingly, feel better. It reminds him of having fur, a little. He wonders if that’s why humans wear clothes all the time, because they don’t have fur. Poor things.

Soonyoung beams at him. He falls into a sit on the bed and pats the space across from him, so Jihoon follows, attempting to copy the way Soonyoung’s folded his legs. He’s always thought it seemed rather uncomfortable, but it’s really quite nice.

“Awesome,” Soonyoung says when Jihoon’s settled. “Okay, so, we need to figure out what we’re going to do. You don’t happen to know anything about how–” he waves his arms at Jihoon’s new human body rather vaguely, “–all _this_ happened, do you?”

Jihoon gives him an unimpressed stare.

“Just asking!” Soonyoung defends, looking sheepish. “I don’t know, maybe you’re actually like a cat wizard or something.”

“Yes, of course,” Jihoon deadpans. “I’ve been hiding my magical shapeshifting abilities from you all these years.”

Soonyoung snorts. “Alright, no need to be sarcastic,” he says, rolling his eyes. He’s smiling, though, a little bit, so Jihoon knows he isn’t angry. “What the hell did this, then? Did you do anything unusual today? Eat something weird?”

“No.” Soonyoung doesn’t need to know about all the treats Seungkwan fed him earlier. Jihoon's pretty sure treats don't turn cats human, no matter how obscenely large of an amount is consumed. “What about you? If it’s magic, maybe you pissed off a witch or something and she cursed you.”

“How could I have pissed off a witch?” Soonyoung wants to know. “How do you even know about witches, anyway, you’re a cat!”

Jihoon is, frankly, offended. “I can still hear and understand everything you humans say,” he says, rather peevishly. “I’ve heard you tell Chan the story of Beauty and the Beast so many times I think I could tell it myself.”

“It’s his favourite!” Soonyoung protests. “Anyway, no, I don’t remember pissing off any witches. It’s gotta be something else.”

They both fall silent then, thinking. Jihoon’s nose twitches, once, twice. He sneezes, which is surprisingly a different sensation to sneezing as a cat. Not by much, but still.

“Are you cold?” Soonyoung asks. “Need a hoodie?”

Jihoon sniffs, shaking his head. “Just getting used to my human nose,” he says, then stops short.

“…What?”

Jihoon turns to him. “The star,” he says slowly, piecing things together. “The present from your client, it smelled _super_ weird, like nothing I’ve ever smelled before.”

Soonyoung shakes his head, frowning. “It was from a stranger, maybe? You hate strangers.”

“This wasn’t originally your client, right? Had you met them before? Maybe they were a witch and you didn’t know.”

Soonyoung is laughing humourlessly, running a hand through his hair. “No way,” he says, but he doesn’t sound too sure. “There’s no way. We’d only just met today, why would she want to curse me? Or, well, you?”

“Maybe she meant it for your colleague,” Jihoon points out. “Jun, was it? You’ve complained about him before. Maybe she felt the same.”

“I wasn’t _serious_ ,” Soonyoung argues half-heartedly, already pulling his phone out of his pocket. He swipes and taps at the screen, then brings the phone up to his ear. “Hey, Jun? You feeling better? Hey, listen, I know this is a weird question, but…”

The conversation goes on for a bit, but Jihoon quickly tires of not being able to hear the other side. He amuses himself with wiggling his new toes. He’s always found it strange how human hands and feet look so vastly different. And why is it he can move each finger individually but not each toe?

“She’s a witch,” sighs Soonyoung, pulling the phone away from his ear just to start tapping at it furiously, “or, at least, she’s telling people she is. Jun’s sent me her number, so I’ll call her now. He said she’s usually busy past 6pm, but we can try anyway.” He holds the phone out, screen up, between them. The phone starts to beep, twice at a time, at four-second intervals.

“No answer,” sighs Soonyoung, but just as he’s about to tap the screen, a girl’s voice says, “Hello?”

Soonyoung and Jihoon share wide-eyed looks. “Yes, hello?” Soonyoung says. “Yoojung-ssi? This is Soonyoung, the instructor from this morning.”

“Ah, yes yes yes, of course,” Yoojung says quickly. “Good evening, Soonyoung-ssi. May I ask why you’re calling?”

Soonyoung hesitates. “Uh, well, you know that star you gave me?” he begins, obviously considering his words carefully. “You said it would bring, uh, joy and laughter to my life?”

“Yes, it’s supposed to. Why, has something happened?”

There’s something about the tone of her voice that makes Jihoon frown; it’s timid and almost expectant, like she’s expecting something to have gone wrong. Soonyoung forges on anyway, “Uh, this might be weird, but, uh, I think it might have, uh, turned my cat into a human.”

Silence. It goes on for long enough that Jihoon is concerned she’s not there anymore.

“Ah,” she says finally, in a tiny voice. “Well. That’s… unexpected.”

Soonyoung rubs his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. “Can you fix it?”

“Uh, well,” is all she says, which is not a _yes_.

“Yoojung-ssi,” Soonyoung sighs, in the losing-patience tone he sometimes gets with Chan.

“I’m sorry!” she squeaks. “I don’t know what went wrong, I followed the intructions exactly– I’m just a trainee, really, I’m not a full witch yet–”

“Can you fix it?” Soonyoung repeats. “If not, then who can?”

“Well,” Yoojung starts nervously, and already Jihoon _knows_ he’s going to hate her answer. “I cast the spell, so I have to be the one to take it off… but, uh, since I don’t know what went wrong, I might make it worse if I try to take it off the normal way. Magic is tricky, you know, with implied intent and stuff like that–”

“So where does that leave us?”

Yoojung pauses. There’s the sound of pages flipping from the phone. “There’s a potion, the Blank Slate Draught. It removes all traces of magic from the drinker’s body, like a blanket reset for magic.”

“Great, how long will it take to make?”

“Well,” Yoojung says again, filling Jihoon’s stomach with dread, “the thing is, some of these ingredients– this potion is high-level, it’s dangerous in the wrong hands–” She takes a deep breath. “I can’t brew it, not as a trainee. It’s illegal.”

Soonyoung groans and runs a hand over his face. “When will you graduate from being a trainee?” he sighs, sounding tired.

“I have to pass a test. Um… I’m taking mine in three weeks.”

Three weeks. Three weeks of being human. Jihoon doesn’t know how he’s going to survive. Soonyoung seems similarly horrified, pulling a truly disgusting face and mouthing _three weeks!_ at Jihoon.

“D-Don’t worry! I’ve been studying really hard for the test!” Yoojung reassures them, which isn’t very reassuring at all.

“When is the next test? If you fail?”

“Uh,” says Yoojung timidly. “…Next year?”

“Next _year_?!” Soonyoung shrieks, nearly launching his phone up into the air out of pure shock.

“I-I-I’m not going to fail!” Yoojung insists loudly. “Don’t worry!”

Soonyoung has buried his face into the bedspread and appears to be sobbing quietly. Jihoon feels a little bit like crying himself.

There’s a loud bang from Yoojung’s side. “Oh, that’s– aahh, no!” she yelps, panicked. “Okay, I really have to go now. Uh, good luck, I’ll let you know how the test goes!”

The phone spits out a long, continuous beep. Soonyoung retrieves himself from his despair to sit up and silence it, then lets it drop out of his hand onto the bed with a little thump. “One year,” he moans pathetically, head lolling back to face the ceiling. “One whole year.”

Jihoon agrees, quietly spiralling into a panic. One whole year as a human. One whole year without fur, whiskers, his tail. He can’t imagine it, doesn’t know if he’s physically able to do it.

“Three weeks,” he croaks, trying to be positive.

“Three weeks,” agrees Soonyoung, rubbing his face with both hands. “Three weeks. Maybe she’ll pass!”

“Maybe she will,” Jihoon echoes, but he has a feeling she won’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~i'm half-asleep but i desperately wanted to get this chapter up~~
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> so last night i tried to post this and then i fell asleep with my laptop on my body so here, have it now instead. again it hasn't been through the nitpicking i usually put my work through but you know what this fic is about me enjoying myself and doing what i want so idgaf
> 
> you guys. i am blown away by all the love this has received. i honestly didn't think there'd be very much attention at all! (and so many of you thought the first chapter was?? hilarious??? which i didn't think it was, ahah) thank you all so so much. it really encouraged me to get this written quick, so if you could keep it up i would appreciate it!
> 
> thanks are due to @tinydoodler for the suggestion to cast ioi's yoojung as the witch. poor yoojungie, she just made a tiny mistake is all! she meant well~
> 
> hope you enjoyed! leave a comment letting me know if you did, or drop me an ask at [my kpop tumblr](http://mysterywoozi.tumblr.com) if you prefer. thanks for reading!
> 
> (ps: i hate myself for the pun in this chapter title. i hate myself and yet i cannot bring myself to change it)


	3. learning to be human involves suffuring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (these chapter titles are getting prepawsterous)

The first thing they do is tell Chan.

Honestly, Soonyoung doesn’t want to, but it’s pretty much unavoidable at this point. Jihoon can’t hide from Chan forever, and anyway Chan would start asking questions about their missing cat after a while. He doesn’t want to lie, either, not to his son, so the truth it has to be.

Doesn’t mean it’s easy. How do you tell your 4-year-old that his cat is now suddenly a full-grown man?

“Appa,” Chan calls worriedly when Soonyoung and Jihoon come into the living room. He’s standing next to the cabinet Jihoon sometimes hides under, holding one of Jihoon’s toys in one hand. He looks like he’s about to cry. “Where’s Jihoonie? I can’t find him anywhere!”

Jihoon flinches. Soonyoung bites his lip, nervous. “Uh, well, that’s what I need to talk to you about, sweetie.” He goes over to kneel in front of his son; after a moment of hesitation, Jihoon follows awkwardly, stopping a short distance behind Soonyoung, as if he’s afraid.

Chan’s eyes flick to Jihoon, but doesn’t say anything, just comes close and hugs Soonyoung, burying his face in Soonyoung’s soft jumper. Soonyoung strokes Chan’s hair quietly, taking a moment to organise his thoughts.

After a moment, he gently pulls Chan away. “Sweetheart, I have something to tell you,” he says, soft but serious. “This is important, so I need you to pay attention, okay?”

Chan nods, eyes still watery.

Soonyoung takes a deep breath. “Channie, darling,” he starts slowly, “you remember the story of Beauty and the Beast?” Chan nods. “You know how in the end, Beast is magically transformed into a man?”

“Because of true love,” Chan says. “True love breaks the spell.”

Soonyoung braces himself. “Well, the same thing’s happened to our Jihoonie. He’s been turned into a human.”

Chan’s eyes go wide. “Really?” he breathes, like he can’t believe it. “That’s so cool! Was he cursed the whole time? Did you know he was actually a human, appa? How old is he? Does he want to play with me now that he’s human?”

Soonyoung wants to sigh with relief. Chan’s taking it a lot better than Soonyoung did himself. “Maybe you can ask him yourself,” Soonyoung says, and turns to beckon Jihoon closer. “C’mon, Jihoonie.”

Jihoon looks terrified. Soonyoung almost laughs. If there was any sliver of doubt left that this man wasn’t actually his cat, that thoroughly destroys it. He remembers this exact expression on cat-Jihoon’s face, the first few times Soonyoung approached him in that alleyway all those years ago.

Chan looks like he’s over the moon. Soonyoung grabs his arm gently to stop him from launching himself at Jihoon. “C’mon, it’s okay,” Soonyoung tells Jihoon lowly, in the soothing voice he always uses to coax Jihoon into doing something.

Soonyoung can almost see Jihoon’s ears twitch. He comes forward hesitantly, step by step.

“Remember, he’s still our Jihoonie, so you have to be gentle,” Soonyoung reminds Chan, kind but firm, then lets him go. Jihoon tenses, but Chan toddles over to him and takes Jihoon’s hand gently, staring up at him in awe. “Hi,” Chan tells him, grinning.

Jihoon smiles back weakly. “Hi,” he says awkwardly.

Chan seems pleased. “Are you really our Jihoonie?” he asks, starting to bounce with excitement. “Appa said cat-Jihoonie was six years old so I thought human-you might be my age but you’re a grown-up like Appa. How long were you cursed? How old were you?”

“Uh–”

“What’s it like to have fur? Is it itchy like the sweaters halmonim makes for me? What about a tail, isn’t it so cool to have a tail? I wish humans had tails, don’t you?”

“I think a tail would suit you,” Jihoon says, looking half-lost and half-amused. “But maybe a dinosaur tail would be better than a cat’s.”

Chan gasps loudly, eyes and mouth open wide. Soonyoung can’t help the laugh bubbling out of his chest. “I love dinosaurs!” Chan declares, staring at Jihoon like he hung the stars and moon. “They’re the best! Hey, do you wanna see my collection?!” He tugs at Jihoon’s hand and pulls him over to where they keep his bag of dinosaur toys.

Soonyoung decides he’ll leave them to bond. “Dinner in half an hour,” he calls, then disappears into the kitchen.

\---

It’s too late to do the spicy fish soup tonight, so Soonyoung throws together some form of pasta dish with bacon and broccoli and red pepper powder. It’s not as bad as Soonyoung feared, so he’s whistling happily as he sets the table for three. He looks over just to check on Chan and Jihoon; there are plastic dinosaurs strewn all around them, and Chan appears to be giving a full lecture on each of the different species. Jihoon doesn’t seem like he’s absorbing any of that information, but he has a gentle, indulging smile on his face as he watches Chan chatter on excitedly. He looks kind of like Soonyoung’s father does, sometimes, when he’s not really paying attention to the words as much as he is his grandson.

“Dinner,” Soonyoung calls over to them. “Wash your hands! You too, Jihoonie!”

“C’mon!” Chan yells, and drags Jihoon all the way over to the kitchen sink. He climbs onto his little footstool and busies himself showing Jihoon how to wash his hands with soap, which seems to make him feel important and grown up. Soonyoung grins at them as he unties his apron from around his waist and hangs it up behind the door.

“You’re a good teacher, Channie,” Soonyoung tells him as Jihoon dries his hands on the bright yellow duck-patterned tea towel. Chan beams at him and gives him the peace sign, so of course Soonyoung has to return the favour. Jihoon looks utterly baffled when he turns around and sees them being idiots. It’s endearing, and surprisingly familiar; Jihoon always gives them this half-confused, half-exasperated look when they do weird things, especially if it’s just for fun.

“C’mon, I’m hungry!” Chan whines. He grabs Jihoon’s thumb in one hand and Soonyoung’s pointer and middle fingers in the other, and proceeds to drag them both out into the dining area. He clambers onto his booster chair all by himself– “ _no_ , appa, I don’t need your help!”– and then directs Jihoon to sit across from him. Soonyoung takes his usual seat at the head of the table, between Chan and Jihoon.

“Thanks for the food!” Chan chirps.

“Thanks for the food,” Jihoon echoes uncertainly, like he _kinda_ knows it’s polite but isn’t used to saying it. Soonyoung nods to reassure him, then picks up his chopsticks and digs in.

Jihoon stares at the chopsticks blankly. Soonyoung nearly chokes; he keeps forgetting how much of human life is actually practiced behaviour. “Sorry,” he manages, after swallowing his mouthful of pasta. “Uh, you hold them like this–”

They spend a few minutes trying to teach Jihoon how to use chopsticks. It goes… well, it doesn’t go _badly_ , but it doesn’t go well, either. Chan even offers the use of his special kid-chopsticks that are joined at the end, but those don’t prove easy to use, either. Eventually Soonyoung just gets a fork and shows Jihoon how to twirl the noodles, which is still a challenge, but Jihoon gets the hang of it a lot quicker.

“We can practice,” Soonyoung promises, catching sight of Jihoon’s grumpy face. “Hey, you and Chan can practice together, how about that?”

Chan cheers loudly. Jihoon looks less enthused, but doesn’t argue.  

The rest of dinner goes smoothly in comparison. Jihoon spends most of it focusing on using the fork correctly. Once or twice he waits until Soonyoung looks away, then lowers his face to the plate, but Soonyoung manages to catch him with a stern, “no, Jihoonie,” which makes him lift the fork again sullenly. Chan seems delighted that someone else besides him is getting scolded during mealtime, but makes a face when Soonyoung makes him eat all his vegetables anyway. Soonyoung, for his part, is tired. It’s like he’s suddenly gained another son.

“Appa,” Chan whines after dinner, as Soonyoung’s collecting the dirty dishes, “can we watch TV for a bit? I wanna show Jihoonie!”

Soonyoung glances at the clock. It’s not too late, and tomorrow’s a Sunday anyway. “Half an hour,” he says. Chan cheers and leaps off his booster chair. He gives Soonyoung’s legs a quick hug, then drags Jihoonie away by the hand.

Soonyoung leaves them to it and drops off the dirty dishes in the sink. He grabs a wet tea towel and goes back to the dining table, starting to wipe down the placemats.

Chan puts on his favourite cartoon, the one with talking pigs. It’s a rerun; Chan is busy explaining everything to Jihoon, who’s seeming more and more comfortable with Chan.

He’s in the middle of a big explanation about the uncle pig when he suddenly falls silent.

“Channie?” Soonyoung calls, slightly concerned. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

Chan bursts into tears. “I can’t cuddle Jihoonie in my lap anymore,” he wails, distraught.

Soonyoung’s about to go over and comfort him–

“Yeah,” says Jihoon suddenly, “but now I can cuddle you in my lap.”

This quiets Chan. He’s still sniffling, but he appears to be considering it. Eventually he turns to Jihoon and raises his arms in the way that means he wants to be carried.

Jihoon apparently understands Chan’s little gestures as well as Soonyoung does, because he immediately scoops Chan up and settles him in his lap. Chan giggles and starts up his commentary again, and Soonyoung can’t help but smile at them as he ducks into the kitchen to do the dishes.

\---

Hugs, Jihoon finds, are much nicer when he’s giving rather than receiving them. Chan is warm in his arms and something about his new human brain wants to squeeze him tight. Jihoon is above that, so he doesn’t, but he does give in to the urge to rub his scent glands all over the top of Chan’s head. His human nose can’t smell Jihoon’s scent on Chan anymore, which deeply unsettles him. As a cat, he could always smell the humans on each other, though, so it isn’t like humans _don’t_ have a scent. He figures he’ll just scent-mark like usual; even if he can’t smell it, the scent is (probably) getting transferred. Jihoon probably overdoes it, to be honest, but better safe than sorry. Chan puts up with it without complaint, which just cements him as Jihoon’s favourite.

“Okay, time’s up,” Soonyoung says, coming over with his hands on his hips. “C’mon Chan, time for a bath.”

“But appa!” Chan complains, pouting. Jihoon has to agree. He’s only just finished scent-marking Chan, and now Soonyoung wants to wash it all off? “The show’s not finished yet!”

Soonyoung is having none of it. “You’ve seen this one before.”

“But Jihoonie hasn’t!”

“Jihoonie can continue watching, then. Into the bath now, come on.”

Jihoon stares Soonyoung down, holding Chan tight in his arms. All that scent-marking, gone to waste. Plus, baths were evil! Jihoon only rarely got baths, but he’d hated it with a passion every time. Subjecting your own son to them _every single day_ was just cruel.

“C’mon, Chan,” Soonyoung insists. “Jihoonie, let him go.”

“No,” Chan wails. “Don’t wanna!”

Jihoon doesn’t wanna either. He continues staring.

“Jihoon, please,” Soonyoung sighs– then pauses. He narrows his eyes at Jihoon. “Come to think of it, your last bath was weeks ago, you should take one too.”

Almost immediately, Jihoon is setting Chan down on the ground and getting the hell out of there. He goes straight for his best hiding spot: the little gap under the shoe cabinet. He dives for it like usual–

–and slams his forehead on the bottom. The whole cabinet wobbles, falling just shy of toppling over. A single boot tumbles out of the cabinet and bounces off Jihoon’s head with a loud thump.

“Oh my god,” Soonyoung is laughing. Chan is shrieking with laughter, falling back onto the sofa and rolling with joy.

Jihoon rolls over onto his back, groaning. His human head is harder than his cat head, apparently, so the pain is already starting to subside, but embarrassment is scorching his cheeks and ears and neck, and doesn’t show any signs of stopping anytime soon.

“Are you okay?” Soonyoung asks as he comes over. He’s still laughing, a little, but his touch to the sore spot on Jihoon’s forehead is gentle. “Does that hurt?”

It does. “No,” Jihoon mumbles, because he has his pride, refusing to meet Soonyoung’s eyes.

“Don’t lie, it’s all red!” Soonyoung scoffs. He holds out a hand to Jihoon. Jihoon takes it– normally he wouldn’t unless a treat was on the line, because he refuses to do tricks on demand, but after years of training it’s an instinctive reaction. To his surprise, Soonyoung pulls, hard– and then Jihoon is on his feet again. He wobbles a little, disoriented. Soonyoung steadies him, gripping his elbow.

“Jihoonie, are you okay?” Chan asks. He toddles over and hugs Jihoon’s leg tightly. “Did you get an owie?”

“I’m fine,” Jihoon tries to say, but Chan is already turning determined eyes on his father.

“Appa,” Chan says firmly. “Make the owie go away!”

“No, it’s okay–”

“But you could _die_!” Chan insists.

“Yeah, Jihoonie, you could die,” Soonyoung agrees, grinning. He obviously finds this whole thing hilarious. Jihoon glares. Can’t his humans let him hide in a corner and wallow in his shame in peace? “C’mon, then, both of you.”

Soonyoung leads the way to the bathroom; Chan and Jihoon follow (well, Chan follows, Jihoon is _dragged_ ) along behind him. He pops the lid down on the toilet and sits Jihoon on it, then busies himself with filling the tub. Chan makes grabby hands until Jihoon picks him up and cuddles him in his lap while they wait. His solid weight in Jihoon’s arms soothes the dread that the sound of the bath instils in Jihoon.

“Are you two going to be cuddling all the time, now?” Soonyoung laughs when he turns and sees them. He goes over to the medicine cabinet and retrieves a brown leather bag.

“The cat ones!” Chan chirps, which means absolutely nothing to Jihoon, but Soonyoung rifles through the bag and pulls out a little box with tiny pictures of cats on them.

“What are those?” Jihoon asks, curious.

Soonyoung pulls out a rectangular strip, also with cats on it. “Those are plasters,” Chan tells Jihoon. “You stick them on owies to help make ‘em better.” His voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper. “Appa thinks they’re really important, but I think it’s the kisses that make the owies go away.”

Jihoon nods in agreement. The little one is smart. As far as he can tell, the kisses are like the human equivalent of licking. Many, if not all, of his own _owies_ have been healed with nothing but time and a few licks. Maybe the plasters were meant to disguise the wound from others, so competitors wouldn’t attack while you were weak.

Soonyoung presses the plaster to Jihoon’s forehead. By some miracle, the strip sticks firmly to Jihoon’s skin. He hates the sensation already.

“All done,” Soonyoung declares. Noticing Jihoon’s frown, he says, “You can take it off in the morning, okay?”

“If the owie’s gone,” Chan adds.

“If the owie’s gone,” Soonyoung agrees. “Channie, would you like to kiss Jihoonie’s owie better?”

Chan’s eyes light up. He’s usually the one having his owies kissed, if Jihoon remembers correctly, so he seems excited to be the one giving the kisses today. He squirms himself around on Jihoon’s lap and pulls at Jihoon’s face until he can reach, then smacks a wet kiss on Jihoon’s forehead. “Owie, go away!” he says loudly.

“Thank you,” Jihoon tells him, smiling fondly. It’s a pleasant surprise that kisses are just as nice and comforting as they were when he was a cat. “You too, Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung just grins at him. “Just don’t go running into things again,” he teases. “You’re a lot bigger now, you know.”

Jihoon glares, feeling the shame make his face hot. It’s a stupidly obvious reaction. Jihoon hates having a human body.

Thankfully, Chan distracts them both. “Bubbles!” he cries, delighted, reaching over in an attempt to stick his hand into the bathtub, where there are, indeed, lots of bubbles. The water level is low enough that he nearly falls into the tub, but Jihoon pulls him close and holds him more securely. He is, quite frankly, amazed. There were never _this_ many bubbles when Jihoon got baths.

Soonyoung, perhaps noticing Jihoon’s fascination, asks, “You want to bathe, too? The bubbles are fun!”

Jihoon shoots him a horrified look. Soonyoung bursts into laughter at the sight of it.

“Bubbles are fun!” Chan echoes, squirming around because he wants out, so Jihoon sets him down on the floor gently. He immediately starts trying to climb into the tub.

“No,” Soonyoung chides, pulling Chan away. “Clothes off, first. And wait till the tub’s filled before you get in.”

Apparently forgetting his earlier refusal to take a bath, Chan immediately starts to strip off his clothes. He’s surprisingly adept at it, much unlike Jihoon earlier that day. Soonyoung barely has to help, just lets Chan get on with it while he busies himself with checking the temperature of the water and turning off the taps.

“Jihoonie, you too!” Chan demands when he’s finished, tugging on Jihoon’s shirt. Normally, Jihoon would just remove himself from the situation, but something about his stupid human brain can never say no to this adorable little boy.

Taking clothes off, Jihoon finds, is a lot easier than putting them on. He manages to wrestle the shirt off with minimal assistance from Soonyoung, and even gets the pants and boxers off on his own while Soonyoung’s busy reaching for something in the cabinet in the corner. “Go on and get in,” he tells them, so Jihoon follows Chan’s lead and steps hesitantly into the bathwater. Chan sits down immediately, already giggling and splashing about and generally having a good time, but Jihoon lowers himself into the water slowly. It’s warm, warmer than Jihoon remembers his baths as a cat being. He thinks, maybe, this won’t be so bad.

Soonyoung upends a caddy of bath toys into the water. Chan shrieks with delight and immediately starts introducing them, one by one, to Jihoon. They’re all interesting and fascinating (certainly more complex toys than Jihoon is used to; cat toys are normally just for biting or catching) but Jihoon’s absolute favourite is the set of water flutes. Each flute, filled to different levels of water, creates a different sound when blown into. Chan teaches him how to play a little tune that Jihoon doesn’t recognise but loves already.

Chan shows Jihoon how to wash his body with the soapy bubbles. It’s a lot like regular grooming, except he’s using his hands instead of his tongue, which makes sense because human bodies are remarkably inflexible. Soonyoung rubs shampoo into Jihoon’s hair. It’s very soothing, actually, and soon he finds his eyes sliding shut in contentment.

“I’ll grab towels and clothes for you both,” Soonyoung says when he’s deemed them clean enough, wiping his hands on a nearby towel. “Jihoonie, keep an eye on Chan, will you?”

“I don’t need watching,” Chan pouts, frowning, so Jihoon grabs the seahorse toy and squirts water at him. It works; the pout slides right off his face, replaced by a shriek of laughter, and they end up splashing water at each other. Jihoon is careful not to get any water into Chan’s nose or mouth, though Chan obviously isn’t bothered to do the same for Jihoon.

“Alright, alright, no more splashing, come on out,” Soonyoung laughs when he comes back. He drapes fluffy white towels over them both before kneeling down to wipe Chan dry. Jihoon copies his movements on his own body, even somehow managing to secure the towel around his chest like Soonyoung does for Chan. Soonyoung still laughs at him, though, which makes him frown.

“No, no,” Soonyoung assures him, still grinning ear to ear, “it’s just that men normally tie them around their waists, that’s all.”

“Why?” Jihoon wants to know. “Don’t their chests get cold, too?”

“That’s just the way it is, Jihoonie,” is all Soonyoung has to say about it. Jihoon thinks he will never understand humans, if only because they don’t seem to understand themselves.

Jihoon is then subjected to a lesson in brushing his teeth, which is honestly the strangest thing so far, because it involves scrubbing a weird, very strong-tasting paste all over his teeth and gums and tongue and then rinsing it out.

“Twice a day, in the morning and at night,” Soonyoung tells him sternly. “Especially at night! It’ll keep your teeth pretty and healthy.”

Jihoon gives him a disgruntled, unimpressed face. He doesn’t know how humans live like this, doing all these unnecessary things. Cat mouths don’t require all this maintenance.

After that, Soonyoung ushers them across the hall into Chan’s room, where sleep clothes have been laid out for them. Jihoon’s relieved to see Soonyoung’s given him a T-shirt, long pants and boxers, similar to what he’d been wearing before. Chan’s got a fluffy blue-and-white long-sleeved shirt and matching long pants, but instead of boxers Soonyoung’s put out a sort of triangular piece of clothing that baffles Jihoon.

“Briefs,” Soonyoung tells him when Jihoon expresses his confusion. “They’re underwear.”

“I though boxers were underwear?”

“They are, but briefs are, too. It’s just a different type of underwear.” He must catch Jihoon’s expression, because he adds, “It’s like… dry food and wet food, right? They’re both food, but sometimes you prefer one over the other.”

That’s the clearest explanation Jihoon’s heard since turning human. “You should explain things like that all the time,” he tells Soonyoung seriously, which for some reason makes Soonyoung laugh.

Jihoon manages the boxers and pants this time with ease, but ends up staring down the T-shirt with apprehension.

“You gotta put your head through first,” Chan tells him wisely. “But you have to put it on right! The picture is always on the front and the label is always on the back.”

Jihoon tries it. He sticks his head through, then squints down and pulls at the shirt until he feels the little label on the inside brushing the back of his neck. Amazingly, the arm holes are right there where his arms are, so he simply threads his arms through– and then, just like that, he’s put on a T-shirt.

Soonyoung and Chan cheer for him. “I’m a genius,” Chan says, grinning.

Jihoon has to grin back. “You are, thank you very much,” he says, smoothing a hand over Chan’s hair.

Soonyoung then pulls out the hairdryer, which is just as hot and noisy and unpleasant as Jihoon remembers, but at least he gets to hold Chan in his lap while Soonyoung dries Jihoon’s hair. It’s a lot faster than the last time, probably because he has so much less hair now.

Jihoon knows it’s bedtime for Chan once his hair is dry, so while Soonyoung’s putting the hairdryer away, Jihoon takes a sleepy, yawning Chan in his arms and lies down with him in Chan’s bed, which is much smaller than Jihoon remembers. He pulls the covers up over them both, because Soonyoung always does that, and cuddles close with a happy sigh.

“Goodnight, Jihoonie,” Chan mumbles, already half-asleep.

“Goodnight, Channie,” Jihoon replies, nuzzling the top of Chan’s head affectionately. He’s feeling quite sleepy himself.

Jihoon doesn’t realise his eyes are closed until he feels someone stroke the back of his head gently. “Goodnight,” Soonyoung’s voice is whispering, his fingers comforting against Jihoon’s hair. It reminds Jihoon of all those years ago, before Chan was born, when he used to curl up with Soonyoung instead, and fall asleep to gentle fingers stroking between his ears.

Jihoon falls asleep warm and happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is 4000 words. 4000 fucking words about an evening in the life of a catman. all they did was mundane shit like eat dinner and take a bath and go to bed how did it become 4000 words???
> 
> anyway. i'd like to know if you guys enjoyed this domestic slice-of-life stuff! it was fun to write, even though the whole time i was like nOBODY CARES WHY AM I WRITING THIS (and then just wrote it anyway because i wanted to). they won't all be like this, i swear, next chapter will be a little more exciting!
> 
> props go to @tinydoodler for being a great cheerleader and also a large reason for all the jihoon-chan cuddling in this and probably all future chapters!
> 
> leave me a comment letting me know what you think! all your lovely comments are a really huge part of how quickly i'm writing this, just because they're fueling my own burning desire to have more of this au. you can also drop by [my kpop tumblr](http://mysterywoozi.tumblr.com) if you prefer!
> 
> (alsoooo has everyone seen the new mv i'm dead minghao had so much screentime he's killing me aaaaa like woozi is my bias but daMN minghao u r lookin fine in them turtlenecks)
> 
> (also the song and choreo are amazing and i must commend both woozi and hoshi on a fine job. well done, boys! i'm proud of you~)


	4. we're feline festive

The first thing Soonyoung notices when he wakes up is that something is rubbing insistently at his neck and jaw. “Jihoonie, no, it’s Sunday,” he complains, trying to squirm away from his cat. It’s adorable, but he should be allowed to sleep in on the weekends, dammit!

As expected, Jihoon doesn’t care about Soonyoung’s sleep schedule, and moves the face-rubbing to Soonyoung’s cheek. Soonyoung groans, figuring he’ll get up to feed Jihoon, then go back to bed for a bit before Chan wakes up. Decided, Soonyoung opens his eyes–

–and finds himself staring into a very human, very male face, just inches away from his.

“Oh my fuck holy shit balls dammit,” is all Soonyoung can gasp, immediately scooting back and away, instinctively holding a hand out to stop the man from coming closer. He has a moment of panic– why is there a man in his bed, why is he literally laying on top of Soonyoung, why is he wearing Soonyoung’s clothes– before the events of the day before come flooding back.

Soonyoung groans, letting his head loll back to rest on the wall behind him. He’d sort of been hoping the magic might have worn off overnight. “Jihoonie, oh my god, you can’t just– assault me like that,” he says wearily, running a hand over his face.

“Assault?” Jihoon sounds offended. “You’re so rude. I’m trying to scent mark you.”

Scent mark? Soonyoung opens his eyes to squint at Jihoon. “Is that what you’ve been doing all this time? With the face-rubbing?”

Jihoon looks at him like he’s monumentally stupid. Soonyoung is more familiar with this look from Jihoon than you’d think. “It isn’t just _face-rubbing_ ,” he explains, exasperated. “We have scent glands there. I know you humans can’t smell for shit, but it’s a huge thing for cats.”

“So, it’s like, marking your territory or something?”

“Yes, sort of. When we mark other cats or humans, it’s like–” Jihoon’s expression twists into one of faint embarrassment, “–claiming them as family.”

Soonyoung grins. “Aww, Jihoonie,” he coos, reaching over to ruffle Jihoon’s hair. “You _do_ care!”

Jihoon scowls at him, but doesn’t bat his hand away like Soonyoung thought he might. “Of course I care,” he mumbles, a little pink in the cheeks, refusing to make eye contact. “You two have been in my territory for so long, it’s only natural.”

The confirmation that his cat loves him back is making Soonyoung happier than it really should. “So it’s about territory, huh?” he says, thinking back through the years. “But you never marked–” He stops short, his heart giving a familiar pang.

Jihoon picks up on his change in mood instantly, just like he always does, patting at Soonyoung’s cheek to catch his attention. It’s something he’s done millions of times before, but it feels different, strange, when it’s a human hand instead of a paw, more like a tender caress than a comforting tap. It’s making him feel uncomfortable, so Soonyoung tries to pull away, but Jihoon just uses his other hand to keep Soonyoung looking at him.

“She was never mine,” he tells Soonyoung, like it’s something important, “but she tried. For you.”

Soonyoung’s smile is bitter. “Not hard enough,” he says, and pushes Jihoon off of him. Jihoon goes easily, rolls over onto the empty side of the bed, but keeps staring as Soonyoung gets up and stretches. Just like always.

Soonyoung takes a deep breath. He’s over this. “Right,” he says brightly, clapping his hands together and turning a cheerful grin on Jihoon. “Breakfast?”

\---

“Okay, so, we need to set some ground rules here,” Soonyoung says as he goes about making a pot of coffee. He doesn’t know if Jihoon will like coffee, but Soonyoung sure as hell needs some right now. Jihoon’s perched on a counter, watching him putter around the kitchen, which is actually a regular state of affairs for them, honestly.

“No scratching the furniture? No shitting outside the litter box?” Jihoon asks wryly. “We’ve been over those. I do remember things, you know.”

“Oh, very funny,” Soonyoung snorts. “No, I mean while you’re a human. For the next three weeks. Definitely not the next year.”

“Definitely,” Jihoon agrees.

“Rule one: humans need this thing called personal space,” Soonyoung says, because he doesn’t think he can take waking up to man-Jihoon’s face literally inches away from his every single day. “You can’t just climb into my bed while I’m sleeping and start rubbing your face all over me. I know you didn’t mean anything by it, but it’s not okay, not while you’re a human.”

Jihoon is frowning. “So, you’re saying I should scent mark when you’re awake?”

Well. “Humans… don’t really scent mark.”

“You want me to _stop_ scent marking you?” Jihoon says, betrayed.

“We’ll work on it,” Soonyoung says quickly. “I’m not expecting you to, like, just stop entirely right now–”

Jihoon looks hurt. “I basically called you my family this morning,” he says, miffed. “I see the past five years have meant nothing to you.”

Oh god. “No, no no no, Jihoonie, I’m not saying– look, it’s just–” Soonyoung is getting some major déjà vu from all the smoothing over he’s had to do with past girlfriends. He pauses to think over his words carefully as he leaves the coffee to drip and goes to start their breakfast.

“Even if you’re really a cat, you have a human body now,” Soonyoung says, wondering if Jihoon will understand what he’s trying to say. “Humans don’t have scent-glands on their faces, so there isn’t really a point to scent marking now, is there?”

Jihoon is still frowning, so Soonyoung suggests, “How about we replace all the head-rubbing with a more human form of affection? Like… hugs! You like hugs, don’t you?”

This seems to appease Jihoon. “So rule one is hugs instead of head-rubbing,” he confirms, watching Soonyoung sift flour into a large bowl. “Are there any other rules?”

“Rule two: if there’s a human way of doing things, the human way it shall be,” Soonyoung says, thinking of the night before, when Jihoon tried, several times, to put his face in his dinner instead of using the fork. “It’ll be easier on your human body to do things like a human, anyway.”

Jihoon doesn’t look pleased, but nods anyway. “You can’t laugh at me if I get it wrong,” he warns, grumpy.

“Of course not,” Soonyoung agrees. “I don’t have any more rules for now, but we’ll add some on if and when we need to. And hey,” he adds, because it’s important, “if there’s anything you don’t like, you tell me, okay? Just like you did earlier. We’ll work it out. Compromise.”

Jihoon seems pleased at that. He hops off the kitchen counter and comes over to look at what Soonyoung is doing. “What are you making?”

“Pancakes,” Soonyoung replies, cracking an egg into a bowl. “You want to help?”

“How?” Jihoon asks, sounding casually disinterested, but his eyes have already lit up. Soonyoung grins. Jihoon’s new human body hasn’t changed his personality one whit.

“Here, try cracking this egg in.” Soonyoung hands the egg to Jihoon carefully. “Now, once that shell breaks, everything’s going to come pouring out, so you have to make sure you get it in the bowl. Tap it on the rim of the bowl– a little harder– that’s it, you got it! Now gently stick your thumbs in that crack–”

The shell crumbles under Jihoon’s fingers. Soonyoung tries not to laugh, but the utterly devastated look on Jihoon’s face is just so cute. “No, no, I’m not laughing at you,” Soonyoung tries to assure Jihoon when he turns to glare, pink-faced, at Soonyoung. “It’s okay, this happens to everyone, just toss the shells in that little plastic bag over there– that’s it– and let’s fish out some of these little shell bits, yeah?”

Thankfully, Jihoon’s eyes are sharp, and his fingers are nimble even if he’s not so good at controlling pressure quite yet. Once he’s gotten all the shell bits out, Soonyoung splashes in some milk and melted butter, then shows Jihoon how to whisk the liquid together. Jihoon takes to it quite quickly, so Soonyoung lets him keep whisking while he gradually adds in the dry ingredients.

“You have to make sure it’s all combined properly,” he tells Jihoon. “We don’t want lumps of flour in our pancakes, they taste awful.” Jihoon nods seriously, like he’s talking about strategies of war rather than pancakes, and whisks away.

“I think you’re a better whisker than me,” Soonyoung tells him, awed, when they deem the batter well-mixed and set it aside while the pan is heating up. Jihoon beams at him, pleased. He goes for a hug, which startles a surprised laugh out of Soonyoung, but he hugs back easily, making a note to compliment him more often. The poor guy must be feeling pretty shitty about suddenly having to do all these human things; it was the least Soonyoung could do to encourage him.

“See?” Soonyoung says. “Isn’t this so much nicer than all the face-rubbing?”

Jihoon immediately starts rubbing his face on Soonyoung’s shoulder, just to prove a point. Soonyoung laughs and shoves him away lightly. “You’re such a brat,” he tells Jihoon, amused. “Go on, go wake Chan up. No face-rubbing on him, either!”

Jihoon sticks his tongue out cheekily at Soonyoung, which must be something he picked up from watching Chan, before darting out of the kitchen. Soonyoung shakes his head, still chuckling as he greases the pan with butter. He thinks, maybe, that these next three weeks might not be as bad as he thought.

\---

Breakfast is fun, but also stressful, because he first tries to teach Jihoon how to use a knife, failing which he has to cut up Jihoon’s pancakes for him, which unfortunately leads to Chan demanding he get his pancakes cut up for him too. Soonyoung thinks this might become a bit of a trend, because he lets Jihoon try some of his coffee (he likes it, though Soonyoung thinks it might be the smell more than anything else) and Chan insists on having some too, even though he’s tried it before (he thinks it’s gross, just like always).

The pancakes are, however, delicious, and it turns out Jihoon loves blueberries on his, which is good because now there’s someone in the house to eat the blueberries from the prepackaged mixed berries Soonyoung gets from the supermarket.

Washing up is fun, too, because Chan insists on helping Soonyoung this time, so the three of them huddle by the little kitchen sink, Chan standing on his little footstool. Soonyoung soaps, Chan rinses and Jihoon dries (with strict instructions to _please do not drop anything_ , to which he gives Soonyoung an unimpressed stare).

Once they’ve brushed their teeth and put on proper clothes, Soonyoung goes into the storeroom and digs out their Christmas tree. It’s fake, but real ones are expensive, and Soonyoung doesn’t have the kind of money to buy a new one every year just to throw it away. This plastic one is only four feet tall, and he’s used it for the past three years, but it’s good enough to get Chan excited, and that’s really the only reason he’s doing this.

Chan shrieks with delight when he sees Soonyoung carrying the long box in his arms. He immediately runs to Soonyoung’s side and bounces along impatiently towards the usual Christmas tree spot in the living room, chanting something along the lines of “Christmas is here! Christmas, Christmas!” over and over. Jihoon wordlessly comes over to gently tug Chan out of Soonyoung’s way, which greatly reduces Soonyoung’s fears of accidentally maiming his own child with a Christmas tree.

“Jihoonie, can you get the ornaments out of the storeroom?” he asks, putting the Christmas tree box down on the floor and starting to unpack it. There is no way either of those two would be any help setting this thing up. “Channie can show you where the box is, can’t you, darling?”

“Yeah, of course! Jihoonie, follow me!” Chan dashes off. Jihoon follows quickly with an air of concern, calling at him to “be careful” and “watch out for the edge of the rug”, which is a good call, since Chan always tripped on it when he was younger. Which, now that Soonyoung thinks about it, Jihoon has probably seen far too many times.

Soonyoung manages to put up the Christmas tree and is in the middle of unfurling the plastic branches when Jihoon and Chan come back, a medium-sized box in Jihoon’s arms.

“I’ll help!” Chan declares, and rushes over to grab at the lower branches. Jihoon comes over too and quietly watches them both for a bit before copying them, and between the three of them (two of them, really, because Chan isn’t really doing very much in the way of helping) they make quick work of setting up the tree.

“This is the fun bit,” Soonyoung tells Jihoon with a grin, bending over to open the ornament box. Jihoon is going to love all the shiny things in there, he’s sure. Chan is already nearly vibrating with excitement, and the moment Soonyoung gets the box open he actually does a happy little jig. “Nice moves there, kiddo, just like your appa,” Soonyoung laughs, grabbing the gold tinsel. Jihoon’s eyes are wide, following the shiny, fluffy tinsel so intently he looks like he’s about to pounce. Soonyoung can almost see the waving tail behind him.

So of course, Soonyoung reaches over and drapes the tinsel around Jihoon’s neck, flicking one end over his shoulder like a scarf. “Lovely,” he assures Jihoon, who just blinks down at the tinsel, taking it hesitantly in one hand to examine it.

“Me too!” Chan whines, so Soonyoung takes a wreath out of the box and plops it onto Chan’s head like a crown.

“Your Royal Highness,” Soonyoung cries theatrically, sinking onto one knee and bowing with a flourish. “Oh Prince of Christmas, what is your wish?”

Chan giggles, delighted, and stands a little taller, hands on his hips imperiously. He points regally to the Christmas tree. “We decorate!”

“As you wish, my lord!”

It takes a couple of minutes to draw Jihoon’s attention away from his new scarf but it’s worth it to have an extra pair of grown-up hands helping with the Christmas lights. Soonyoung takes a moment to thank his past self for not being a lazy asshole– the lights were packed away quite neatly, so there aren’t too many knots to work through (even though Chan’s insisted on helping with the untangling, and Soonyoung is almost certain he’s created more knots than he’s undone). Between Soonyoung and Jihoon, they make quick work of stringing the lights up on the tree, making sure they haven’t missed any spots.

Once that’s done, it’s time for tinsel. (“You can keep that one, if you like,” Soonyoung tells Jihoon when he spots the unhappy pout he doesn’t think Jihoon realises he’s making. “I have some silver tinsel in here somewhere, we can use that instead.”) The tinsel is a little more challenging. Arranging it such that it doesn’t block out most of the lights isn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world, but the greatest hurdle to overcome is Jihoon’s meticulous nature. Where Soonyoung would probably have said _fuck it_ and just let it be, Jihoon is carefully rearranging lights and tinsel to make sure every light is visible. Soonyoung can’t complain, because even though it takes a little while, Jihoon admittedly does a better job of it than Soonyoung would have on his own.

And then, much to Chan’s delight, it’s time for the decorations. Soonyoung takes a moment to explain the concept to Jihoon, but soon they’re all hanging baubles on the tree. Chan’s being very haphazard in the way he’s arranging his, amongst the lower branches. Jihoon apparently has an eye for patterns, because he’s systematically alternating baubles by size, colour and sparkliness, leaving a measured, consistent amount of space between them. His side of the tree is starting to look like one you’d see in a store. It’s probably going to be the front, Soonyoung decides, eyeing his suddenly very average-looking side of the tree.

It is missing a few things if it’s going to be the front, though, so Soonyoung goes over and deliberately destroys the sweet symmetry of Jihoon’s side with a horribly misshapen mass of green eclay. “It’s a Christmas tree,” he tells Jihoon when he gets a dirty look. “Chan made it last year.”

Jihoon’s eyes soften. “It’s pretty,” he tells Chan, who’s beaming up at him with little fingers tugging at Jihoon’s pant leg, and ruffles Chan’s hair with a gentle smile.

“How come you smile like that at him, but won’t stop glaring at me?” Soonyoung has to ask, pouting in the most obnoxious way possible.

Jihoon turns a deadpan stare on him, as expected. “Channie’s my favourite,” he says, brutally honest.

Soonyoung gasps dramatically, clutching at his heart. “Jihoonie!” he wails. “I am _injured_!”

“Jihoonie’s my favourite, too,” Chan pipes up with a mischievous snicker, and Soonyoung falls to his knees, bowing his head.

“My own son!” he wheezes, pretending to wipe away tears. “Betrayal! Betrayal of the highest order!”

He’s about to go off on a rant of utter despair and theatrical woe when the doorbell sounds. It’s probably his neighbour Seungkwan again, looking to borrow something or other (or maybe he’s just bored). He picks himself up and dusts off imaginary lint from his clothes. “I see how it is,” he sniffs haughtily at Jihoon and Chan, straightening his sweater stiffly. “I know when I’m not wanted. Good day, sirs!”

Chan just laughs at him. Jihoon actually waves him goodbye with a sarcastic smile and turns back to the tree like nothing’s happened. Soonyoung gives them a little “hmph!” and goes to answer the door.

“Hyung!” chirps Seokmin, beaming, when Soonyoung opens the door. He holds up two bulging plastic bags. “Help taste test our food?”

“Yah, you brat, why didn’t you call first?” Soonyoung laughs, giving Seokmin a hug before stepping aside to let him in. “What if we’d gone out?”

“Oh, please.” Seokmin toes off his shoes. “You never go out before noon on Sundays.”

“Uncle Seokmin!” Chan is yelling, already coming running.

“Channie!” Seokmin yells back, bending to swoop Chan into his arms and lift him up high, which makes Chan shriek with laughter. “I swear, you get bigger every time I see you!”

Jihoon quietly comes into view, and suddenly Soonyoung’s heart sinks. What the hell is he going to tell Seokmin when he asks who this stranger standing in the middle of Soonyoung’s apartment and wearing Soonyoung’s clothes is?! He gestures wildly for Jihoon to hide, to get away before–

“Oh, hello,” Seokmin says, surprised. He adjusts Chan so he’s balanced on Seokmin’s hip. “Sorry, hyung, I didn’t know you had company–”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Soonyoung barely hears himself saying, brain racing for some sort of excuse. He hates that he can’t lie; Seokmin’s going to see through him just like _that_!

When Soonyoung doesn’t introduce them, Seokmin shoots him a weird look before taking matters into his own hands. “Uh, nice to meet you, I’m Soonyoungie-hyung’s friend, Seokmin. And you are?”

Soonyoung’s attention suddenly snaps back to the present. His eyes flick to Jihoon nervously. If Seokmin finds out this stranger has the same name as his cat–

“I’m Jihoon,” Jihoon says. Soonyoung puts his face in his hands, silently wallowing in despair.

“Oh,” says Seokmin, sounding surprised. As expected, he gets over it quickly, cracking a grin and joking, “Is the cat named after you or are you named after the cat?”

“I am the cat,” Jihoon tells him seriously.

Soonyoung feels like crying. Thankfully, Seokmin takes it as a joke and bursts into laughter, so Soonyoung just laughs along nervously. “That’s a good one!” Seokmin tells Jihoon with a bright grin. “Uh, sorry, how old are you?”

Oh god. “He’s the same age as me,” Soonyoung says quickly before Jihoon can say he’s _six years old_. Seokmin turns to him questioningly then, and Soonyoung suddenly breaks out into a nervous sweat because _now he has to explain who Jihoon is_.

“Uh,” Soonyoung stammers, trying not to sound too suspicious, “Jihoonie is, uh, my c-cousin…? Well, I mean, not my actual cousin, obviously, since, you’ve met all three of them before, and it’d be, like, _super_ weird if a fourth just, like, showed up out of nowhere, just like that, ahaha–” goddamn it, Soonyoung, pull yourself together! “–no, of course not, that’d be absurd. Um, this is my… sister’s husband’s cousin’s, uh, cousin… -in-law. Twice removed. Yes. That’s– That’s who Jihoon is. Yes.”

Soonyoung is _sweating_. Seokmin squints at him like he’s being very strange. Which, Soonyoung supposes, he is. For good reason, though he can’t tell Seokmin that.

“Appa!” Chan shouts before Seokmin can say anything. “Appa, did you forget? Jihoonie isn’t your cousin, he’s our cat!” The little boy tugs at Seokmin’s shirt until he looks at him. “Jihoonie told me all about it. There was this witch, see, and she accidentally used magic and turned cat-Jihoonie into a man!”

Seokmin raises his eyebrows. All Soonyoung can do is laugh nervously. “Kids, you know,” he offers weakly. “He’s, uh, got a bit of a wild imagination–”

“No!” Chan whines, squirming a little with impatience. “Appa, stop lying, you told me it was magic, like Beauty and the Beast! We even had to teach Jihoonie all these human things, like how to use chopsticks and–”

“Yes, of course, you’re right, sweetheart, how could I forget,” Soonyoung interrupts hastily before Chan reveals all the other things they’d had to teach Jihoon, going to take him from Seokmin’s arms. Seokmin hands him over easily, obviously amused. “How about you and Jihoonie finish up with the tree, hm? Uncle Seokmin and I will put all this food away, then we’ll come join you. Okay?”

Chan nods, satisfied, and Soonyoung smacks a kiss to his cheek before setting him down on the floor.

“C’mon, Jihoonie!” Chan cries, grabbing Jihoon’s hand and pulling him over to the tree. Jihoon goes without a fight, turning only to shoot Seokmin a polite smile and rather awkward nod (again, like he knows it’s polite but isn’t used to it).

“His family is really Western,” Soonyoung says awkwardly as they move to the kitchen, because it’s weird for a Korean adult not to know how to use chopsticks.

“Oh, right,” Seokmin says, because really what else is there to say to that? “How long has Jihoon-hyung been here?”

“A couple of days, why?”

“Really? That’s amazing. Channie seems to adore him already.”

Soonyoung laughs nervously. “Yeah, well. Maybe he has a thing for Jihoons, huh?” he jokes weakly.

“Hey,” Seokmin says, sounding worried, “does that mean cat-Jihoon isn’t here, then? If Chan thinks he’s turned human? Did something happen?”

Oh. Well. Uh. “Jihoonie is, uh…” Dead? Best not to jinx it. Plus, what would he say when Jihoon turned back in three weeks? No, maybe… missing? But then he’ll be expected to, like, print missing posters and stuff, too much work. What else could he say? “…with my sister!” Oh god, what did Soonyoung just say?

“Your sister?” Seokmin obviously hadn’t been expecting that reaction.

“Yes, well,” Soonyoung hates his stupid big mouth sometimes, “she’s studying medicine, you know, and, uh, she’s very stressed lately, what with all the– the finals coming up. She’s always loved Jihoonie, so I just lent him to her for a bit. Like a, what’s it called, a therapy cat, y’know.”

Seokmin nods, accepting the lie easily. “Is that why Channie’s so attached to Jihoon-hyung?” he asks. “He’s never gone a day without that cat.”

That’s a brilliant idea. Silently, Soonyoung says a prayer to god thanking him for Lee Seokmin. “Yeah, that must be it,” he agrees. “We sort of, uh, exchanged Jihoons, if you like.”

“At least he seems to like Jihoon-hyung. Speaking of, will he be in town for long?”

“Yeah,” Soonyoung says, trying not to fidget. “Yeah, uh, just for a few weeks, I think.” At Seokmin’s curious glance, he panics and adds, “Jihoonie’s, uh, trying to make a life for himself in the city. You know what it’s like, talented kid, yearning to make it big, but feels stifled in a small town with no opportunities–” he’s starting to sound like a movie or a drama or something, he’d better turn it down a notch, “–anyway, he needed a place to crash for a while, just until he can get back on his feet, and, y’know, I’m family, so.”

Seokmin nods sympathetically. “Hey, if he needs a job, he can always come work part-time in the café. Seungkwan’s getting busier at school so he can’t come in quite as often anymore.”

That… might be a good idea. He hadn’t really thought of it before, but Jihoon would be sitting around twiddling his thumbs while Soonyoung went to work and Chan to nursery. A job would at least give him something to do. “I’ll talk to him about it,” Soonyoung says. “Thanks.”

Seokmin beams. He’s always been ridiculously good, always happy to help. “No problem, just let me know.”

They decide they’ll sample a little of every dish Seokmin’s brought for lunch, so they leave the food in their neat plastic containers out on the counter, then go to help finish the tree. Jihoon and Chan are mostly done, so all Seokmin and Soonyoung have to do is throw the last few ornaments up on Soonyoung’s side of the tree.

“Hyung, no offense, but your side looks kind of like a whirlwind blew by,” Seokmin says, grinning.

“It looks ugly,” Jihoon says bluntly, which makes Seokmin laugh.

“Hey!” Soonyoung protests in a whine. “It’s not that bad, is it, Channie baby?”

“Appa, the star,” Chan says instead, already holding the gold tree-topper in his arms.

“Yes dear, but do you think my part of the tree is pretty?” Soonyoung persists, determined to have at least one person on his side, even if that person is four years old. To be fair, everyone in this room would walk over hot coals for him, so maybe his opinion is the most important.

Chan blinks at the tree with an appraising eye, then turns away dismissively. “Mine is better,” is all he has to say about it. “The star! Appa, the star!”

Seokmin is flat out guffawing at him. Even Jihoon is laughing, high and bright, with his mouth wide open. Soonyoung is, frankly, wounded.

“You are all the worst,” Soonyoung sniffs. “I’m not speaking to any of you.”

“Okay, okay, don’t throw a fit,” Seokmin laughs. Soonyoung opens his mouth to complain anyway, but before he can say anything he finds himself wrapped up in a hug.

“Alright, we’re sorry,” Jihoon says, patting gently at Soonyoung’s back before pulling away. “It’s not ugly, it’s just uglier than mine.”

“That’s not a fair comparison,” Soonyoung whines.

“Appa!” Chan’s tugging at the hem of Soonyoung’s shirt very insistently now, looking like he’s ready to sprawl out over the floor like he does sometimes when he’s feeling more emotion than his little body can handle. “The star, appa, come _on_!”

“Alright, okay, up you go,” Soonyoung chuckles. He hoists Chan up so he can place the glittery golden star right on top of the tree. It’s a little lopsided, but they all cheer anyway.

There are still a few more decorations in the box which Soonyoung usually uses to decorate the apartment, but Chan is yawning and rubbing his eyes, so Jihoon goes to put him down for a nap (“Don’t nap with him, come out and help us!” Soonyoung tells him, to which Jihoon scrunches up his nose in annoyance) while Soonyoung and Seokmin get started on hanging garlands and wreaths around the living room. When Jihoon comes back he’s given the task of hanging obnoxiously large paper snowflakes on various items of furniture. Thankfully, Seokmin and Jihoon seem to get along well; it’s not particularly surprising, considering who Seokmin is, and Jihoon’s always been rather fond of him, anyway. Soonyoung wonders if Jihoon would take this easily to his other friends.

Seokmin stays for lunch after the apartment is suitably festive and Chan is woken up. “We’re thinking of adding a few dishes to the menu,” he explains as he and Jihoon open all the containers and Soonyoung lifts Chan into his booster seat. “Mingyu and I agree on these three but we’re not sure about that last one…”

The dish in question is a sort of creamy kimchi pasta that tastes sort of weird but also sort of amazing. Jihoon likes it (perhaps because of the cream?) but Chan doesn’t. Soonyoung is sort of on the fence, so they don’t really help with Seokmin’s problem at all. “Sorry,” Soonyoung tells him apologetically. “Maybe you can make it this week’s special or something and see what kind of feedback you get?”

“Yeah, we thought about that, but so far the response from our friends and family have been mixed, too, so I don’t know if it’ll make any difference… Well, thanks anyway.”

Seokmin tries to help wash up, but Soonyong adamantly refuses, and sends him out to watch TV with Chan. That leaves Jihoon doing the dishes with him, which Soonyoung is sure Jihoon is happy about as an excuse to get away from the high energy of both Seokmin and little Chan. Not that Soonyoung isn’t just as high energy when he wants, but the responsibilities and challenges of parenthood have forced Soonyoung to mellow out and mature a little bit more.

“You’ve been doing really well today,” Soonyoung assures Jihoon quietly over the sound of happy laughter from the living room. “I know it must be hard, having to be totally human only a day after you’ve been transformed. You’re doing well.”

Jihoon nudges him in the side none-too-gently in response, but he’s smiling, just a tiny bit, so Soonyoung figures he’s pleased.

“Uh, hey, I have to run now,” Seokmin comes into the kitchen to tell them just as Soonyoung finishes soaping up the last plate. “Sorry, I forgot I was meant to meet with Minghao–”

“Go on, then,” Soonyoung laughs, rinsing his hands and wiping them dry on his pants. “I’ll let you out.”

“Sorry about this, I thought I could stay a little longer.”

“No, don’t worry about it. Hey, thanks for coming, and for the food. Say thanks to Mingyu for me, too.”

“No problem. Oh, tell Jihoon-hyung it was nice to meet him! I think he’s good for you, he keeps you on your toes.”

Soonyoung scoffs. “You mean he bullies me,” he jokes in a whine.

Seokmin grins as he steps out the door. “Only if you let yourself get bullied,” he quips, then waves goodbye and jogs down the hall.

Soonyoung supposes he’s right; he would let Jihoon get away with murder, just like every other cat-owner in the world. Still, that doesn’t mean Seokmin can make fun of him for it!

“You’re the one being bullied, you live with Xu Minghao!” he calls after Seokmin, and makes sure to slam his door loud enough for Seokmin to hear over his bright, echoing laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this. took a little longer than the previous ones. look i've been battling jetlag all week and i've had some school stuff to do i'm sorry
> 
> also this chapter is??? ~5200 words??? these are just getting longer and longer i swear
> 
> can you believe not even 24 hours has passed in the fic?? and already??? i have written??? 14k words????? because i can't omg. i'm not super clear what happens after this but hey, this has always been a wing-it sorta fic so. we'll find out together!
> 
> let me know what you thought of this chapter in the comments below, or drop me an ask on [my kpop tumblr](http://mysterywoozi.tumblr.com)! it's all your kind words that keep this fic going~ 
> 
> thanks for reading!


	5. repurrt card day

“Are you sure you’ll be okay on your own?” Soonyoung asks for the hundredth time that morning.

Jihoon snorts. “It’s been five years, Soonyoung, I think I’ll survive,” he says, spooning cereal into his mouth. He thinks he’s getting the hang of this cutlery business, though he still thinks it’d be easier to just eat it straight from the bowl. Why do humans use a tool to pick up food only to put that tool in their mouths? It just seems like double handling to Jihoon.

“Still.” Soonyoung still sounds worried, but he’s too busy getting Chan into his winter clothes to push the issue too much. “There’s leftovers in the fridge, just microwave it for lunch, okay? You know how to use the microwave, right?”

“Yes, you showed me half an hour ago,” Jihoon reminds him patiently.  

“Right, okay,” says Soonyoung in a rush, pulling on his own coat and scarf and hat. “Okay, be good. Don’t knock anything over! Channie, say goodbye to Jihoonie.”

Chan blinks up at Soonyoung. “Jihoonie’s not coming?” he asks with a pout.

“No, sweetheart, he can’t come,” Soonyoung tells him absently, patting down his pockets. “Where the hell are my keys?”

Chan’s lip starts to quiver dangerously, but Soonyoung’s too preoccupied to notice, so Jihoon hastily puts his bowl aside and kneels down to Chan’s level. “I never come with you, remember?” he says in what he hopes is a soothing voice, smoothing a hand over Chan’s hair. Chan’s wanted to bring Jihoon to nursery before, when he first started going. Jihoon tries to remember what Soonyoung told him then. “Someone needs to be here to look after the house, keep the monsters out. Keep it safe for you and your appa.”

Chan sniffles, but waddles closer for a hug. Jihoon is happy to oblige, makes sure Soonyoung isn’t watching too closely when he scents Chan’s hair. “I’ll miss you,” Chan wails into Jihoon’s shoulder, which makes Jihoon feel like his heart is melting.

“I’ll miss you too,” he admits, stroking Chan’s little back. “I’ll be here when you come home, okay?”

“C’mon, baby, we’ll be late,” Soonyoung is saying, impatient, but his touch is gentle as he pulls them apart. “Bye, Jihoonie, we’ll see you later!”

They give Jihoon a last wave, then they’re out the door, locking it behind them.

Jihoon lets out a deep breath. Peace, at last.

\---

Peace is not as nice Jihoon thought.

Monday is still bearable. It’s a little harder to nap like he usually does, but he manages it at least a few times, and anyway when he’s not actually sleeping it’s still nice to just lie down and bask in patches of sunlight, though now that he’s larger he finds that his usual favourite spots aren’t quite enough to warm him.

By Tuesday afternoon the inability to nap is getting frustrating, so Jihoon tries his toys instead. Unfortunately, they’re a little too small for him to play with now. It’s difficult to bat them about and pounce on them with his human body, too. Even the toy Soonyoung only just refilled with catnip last week is boring now that Jihoon can’t smell it quite as well.

At least bird-watching is just as interesting. The bird-feeder attracts a variety of birds, as usual, and Jihoon spends Wednesday sitting in front of the window just staring at them and wishing he could catch them. He’s pleased, thinking he’s found something to do for another day at least– but then, as if to spite him, it rains on Thursday, and all the birds flee for shelter, leaving Jihoon bird-less and bored.

To make matters worse, Jihoon starts to feel the effects of constant afternoon naps on Thursday night. After Soonyoung and Chan come home they go through their usual routine of dinner, bath, bedtime. Normally, Jihoon would go to bed with Chan, but apparently humans can only sleep so much, because try as he might, he just cannot fall asleep.

Eventually, he gives up and wanders into the living room instead. Soonyoung is still awake, sitting at the dining table with a pen hanging out of his mouth.

“The stuff in there tastes disgusting,” Jihoon warns him, because he distinctly remembers trying to play with one, only to have nasty bitter liquid flood his mouth.

Soonyoung jolts, startled, but relaxes when he spots Jihoon. He smiles, but it looks tired, weary. “Hey, what are you doing still up?” he asks as Jihoon comes closer.

“Can’t sleep,” Jihoon grumbles. He knows he’s supposed to pull out a chair to sit on, but he’s frustrated enough with his human body that he stubbornly perches on the table instead.

Soonyoung, surprisingly, doesn’t scold him for it. “Have you been napping?” he asks instead, turning his attention back to whatever he’s scribbling on the notebook in front of him. “I told you it would mess up your sleep schedule.”

“Not like there’s anything else to do,” Jihoon complains. “Everything I used to find fun and interesting isn’t anymore.” He feels his face settle into a scrunched up expression, glaring holes into the table. “Being human sucks.”

“Hey.” Soonyoung’s voice is soft. His touch to Jihoon’s knee is gentle, comforting. It makes Jihoon miss being petted, miss when Soonyoung’s hand seemed bigger and warmer. “It’ll be okay. It’s just for another two weeks.”

“If I make it that long,” Jihoon grumbles, annoyed. It’s not just the boredom; he feels like everything he knew about himself– his size, his grace, his likes and dislikes– are all different now. It’s like an itch under his skin that he just can’t scratch. It just feels– _wrong_.

Soonyoung doesn’t understand, but he knows Jihoon is upset, Jihoon can tell from the way he strokes his thumb over Jihoon’s knee. “Maybe you should try doing human things instead,” he suggests. The thought of it makes Jihoon frown. Human things? But he’s a _cat_ , why should he have to  do _human things_ –

“Just try it,” Soonyoung says, oblivious to Jihoon’s identity crisis. “I know you cats always think you’re better than us, but maybe while you’re a human you should just _be human_.”

That makes Jihoon pause. The idea has some merit. Maybe it’s like how he can’t lick himself clean anymore, because it just doesn’t work with his weirdly soft human tongue. Maybe his human brain just isn’t developed enough to truly appreciate the fine art of cat activities.

“Or maybe you just need to get out of the house,” Soonyoung suggests. “Hey, you want to come to my studio tomorrow? Chan finishes early, so the three of us can go get some lunch too. What do you say?”

Soonyoung’s studio. The place Soonyoung goes every day and comes back from smelling like up to fifty different people. He’s never been there, but he’s heard a lot about it. Jihoon can’t deny that he’s curious.

“Alright,” he agrees coolly. “I guess I can spare the time.”

“Awesome,” Soonyoung grins, wide and bright, and Jihoon can’t help but smile back.

\---

It’s not like Jihoon has never been in a car before– he has, to go to the vet, or when Soonyoung first took him home. It’s just been quite a long time, and the city seems to have changed quite a bit; though, that might be because he can’t rely on smell to pick out landmarks anymore.

“That place used to sell meat,” Jihoon murmurs, nose pressed up against the glass, eyes wide as he stares at the colourful array of sweets in a shop window. It’s a far cry from the old, off-white shopfront he remembers. The old human in there used to give Jihoon scraps every do often.

“Hm? Yeah, they sold it a couple years ago,” Soonyoung says absently. The light in front of them turns green and the car starts to move. “I heard her son didn’t want to take over the business. The ahjumma still sells meat in the market on the weekends, though.”

Jihoon watches the shop until it slips out of view. “She was good to me,” he says, feeling unsettled. Things have changed while he’s been away from town. He doesn’t like it.

“We can go see her tomorrow, if you want,” Soonyoung suggests. “We need some groceries anyway.”

Jihoon nods, pleased. He wonders if the owner will recognise him in his human form.

\---

“Alright, belt off, let’s go,” Soonyoung says after he’s stopped the car in front of a brightly coloured house.

“Where are we going?” Jihoon asks, poking at the red button by his hip and jumping when the seat belt snaps back towards the door.

“It’s report card day,” Soonyoung says as he gets out and slams the door shut behind him. Jihoon frowns at his own door and pulls the plastic handle experimentally. The door springs open; awkwardly climbs out. Soonyoung is already there, ushering Jihoon out of the way and slamming the door shut behind him.

“What’s a report card?” Jihoon asks, shivering a little with how cold it is. He copies the way Soonyoung’s shoved his hands in his coat pockets. It’s a great idea. Jihoon gives them a hard time, but really humans sure know how to make up for their furless bodies.

“It’s like a record of how well Channie’s doing in school,” Soonyoung explains as he leads the way into the house. “Though, he’s still in nursery, so nobody really does badly.”

“Appa, Jihoonie!” Chan’s voice yells about three seconds after they step through the front door. He’s already running towards them with the hugest grin on his face, screaming, “You came you came you came!”

Jihoon can’t help but smile as Chan hugs their legs, first Soonyoung and then Jihoon. Jihoon strokes his hair and sweeps him into his arms for a cuddle.

“Kwon Soonyoung-ssi,” says a soft, sweet voice. Jihoon looks up to see a man with peach-coloured hair and a gentle smile.

“Ah, Hong-seonsaengnim,” Soonyoung greets as they exchange bows. “Chan’s been okay? Not causing you too much trouble?”

Hong laughs. “Normally he’s an angel, but he’s been a bit of a handful this morning,” he says, but he’s grinning so it doesn’t seem like he’s mad about it. “He wouldn’t stop shouting about ‘appa and Jihoonie’ coming to pick him up.”

Jihoon can’t help but smile at that and ruffles Chan’s hair. “We missed you too,” he tells Chan, who beams at him.

“You must be this Jihoonie, then?” Hong asks, turning his attention to Jihoon.

Soonyoung steps in before Jihoon can say anything. “My cousin– well, sort of, more like a friend, really– anyway, this is Jihoonie. Uh, I mean, Lee Jihoon.”

Hong bows, so Jihoon bows back a little awkwardly. “Hong Jisoo, Chan’s teacher,” he introduces himself. “I hear you’re actually a cat who’s been magically transformed into a human?”

“Yep!” Chan chirps, because he must’ve been the one to tell Hong about this.

“Yep,” Jihoon agrees, because it’s true.

“No, no, not at all,” Soonyoung laughs awkwardly, then sighs. “It’s a long story, seonsaengnim…”

Hong just laughs, unfazed. “Alright, well, come on into the office and we can have a chat about how Chan’s doing.” He pauses, uncertain. “Lee Jihoon-ssi, would you like to come in…?”

“It’s okay,” Soonyoung answers for him. “Jihoonie, keep an eye on Channie, yeah? We’ll be right back.”

Jihoon nods, happier to be out here. Sounded like whatever conversation they were going to have would be boring anyway.

“Jihoonie, I’ll show you around!” Chan starts to squirm in Jihoon’s arms, so Jihoon sets him down on the floor. Chan immediately starts tugging him over to the large area space where several children that look to be about Chan’s age are playing. There’s only one adult in the room, a man with dark hair. He seems to have circles over his eyes, which is interesting– Jihoon’s seen rectangles over some humans’ eyes before, back when he was still on the streets, but he’s never seen circles. He still doesn’t know what purpose these shapes serve– possibly a marking variation to attract mates? So far it has had no effect on Jihoon, but maybe it’s meant to attract females. He makes a mental note to ask Soonyoung.

Chan’s tour of his nursery isn’t very long. He points out the reading corner and fingerpaints table and nap area that Chan “doesn’t use anymore, because I’m a big kid!”, then introduces Jihoon to his friends as “our cat Jihoonie”. unlike Seokmin and Hong who didn’t really seem to believe him, the kids immediately accept this as fact and bombard him with questions (“Is it true cats see in black and white?” “Why won’t my kitty stop lying on eomma’s belly? What if he hurts my little sister in there?” “What did dogs do to cats to make you so scared of them?” “Do you still go poo in the litter box?”).

Jihoon answers to the best of his ability (“No, we just see in less colour than humans” “He just wants to protect your little sister” “They’re big and noisy and scary” “…Not anymore”) until the circle-eye man interrupts, laughing, “Alright, kids, let’s give him some space to breathe.”

“But ssem!” a tiny girl with curly brown hair whines. “My cat at home won’t answer me!”

“Well, that’s because cats can’t give away all their secrets, can they?” the man teases, patting her head gently.

“It’s alright,” Jihoon pipes up, because he doesn’t mind indulging the little ones. How else would they learn the truth about cats instead of whatever weird things humans undoubtedly said about them?

“Well, okay, if you’re sure,” says circle-eye man, “but one question at a time, alright, kids?”

“Yes!” the kids chorus.

“So,” a tall boy with huge eyes immediately asks, “how do you speak cat?”

Jihoon blinks. “Well, human voices aren’t very good at it,” he says solemnly, “but I’ll try to teach you a few things.”

Jihoon teaches them the basics, like hello and goodbye and get out of my territory. He throws in a little clawing motion for the last one, because that’d clear all doubts about the message trying to be sent in case they messed up the intonation, but it somehow that devolves into a mass of kids stomping around hissing and pretend-clawing at things. Jihoon, personally, thinks he’s done a good job– who else would teach these kids how to fend for themselves? Soonyoung certainly hadn’t taught Chan how to bite and claw and hiss.

“They’ll be occupied with this for a little while,” says circle-eyes, coming to sit next to Jihoon. “You can have a rest for now. I’m Jeon Wonwoo, by the way.”

Jihoon bows as much as he can while he’s sitting down. “Lee Jihoon,” he offers, recalling what Soonyoung had said.

“Nice to meet you, Lee Jihoon-ssi,” Wonwoo (Jeon? Jihoon still isn’t quite too sure about how humans address each other) greets with a pleasant smile. “Channie hasn’t stopped talking about you all week.”

Jihoon smiles at that. Little Chan is too adorable. “Are you one of his teachers?”

“Yeah, just for a few months. I’m still getting my degree in children’s education, I’m here on placement.”

Jihoon doesn’t understand half the words he just said, but just as he’s about to ask, another parent comes through the door holding a large box of what he thinks Soonyoung calls cupcakes. The kids collectively rush at the door, yelling with excitement. Wonwoo excuses himself quickly and runs over to help the parent come in without being hissed or clawed at.

Soonyoung and Hong appear from around the corner; both immediately go to help with the cupcakes, so Jihoon, as usual, follows Soonyoung’s lead and goes over.

“Eomma, this is Jihoonie, he’s a cat!” cries a little girl whose hair has been weaved together into one long flat strand, tugging at her mother’s skirt. “He’s been teaching us how to speak cat, so now I can talk to Byulie!”

“Oh, really?” the parent says absently; she obviously doesn’t believe her daughter, either. Jihoon wonders what it is with adults and this refusal to believe the truth, even when it was right before their eyes. The little girl tries to get her mother’s attention a couple more times, but is mostly being ignored as the parent take out the cupcakes, so Jihoon squats down and taps her shoulder. “I’ll teach you how to say ‘I love you’ to Byullie, okay?” he offers, smiling. “C’mon, come over here, out of eomma’s way.”

This distracts some of the kids, who follow Jihoon over to the kitchen, where Hong is setting out colourful placemats on little kid-sized tables. Jihoon and Hong exchange awkward smiles (well, Jihoon is awkward, Hong doesn’t seem bothered at all) before Jihoon tucks himself in a corner and teaches the kids the slow blink and what it means. Once they’ve got it down, Hong has all the kids wash their hands and sit at their tables, then he and Wonwoo give the cupcakes out. The kids, after some prompting from their teachers, chorus a loud ‘thank you’, then dig in. Soonyoung and Jihoon share one between them, too. It’s moist and rich and sweet. Jihoon loves it.

They say their goodbyes after that. The kids meow goodbye at Jihoon with varying degrees of success, which makes the adults laugh. Jihoon meows back with a pleased grin, then waves because he figures he should try to be human if they’re trying to be cats.

“Now they’re going to meow every time they see you, you know,” Soonyoung points out, grinning, as he reverses out of the parking lot.

“As long as they get the intonation right,” Jihoon sniffs, but really he’s quite touched. “Where can we get more of those cupcakes, can we have those for lunch?”

“Yes!” shouts Chan from the backseat.

“No,” Soonyoung says firmly.

Chan pouts and starts to whine. Jihoon pouts too, and stares at Soonyoung in unhappy silence. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t but it’s work a shot.

 Soonyoung sighs. “Maybe, _maybe_ , we can have one for dessert,” he concedes begrudgingly, and Chan and Jihoon cheer. “But we have to eat a proper meal first!”

“Okay,” Jihoon agrees, pleased at the promise of desserts. “What are we eating?”

“Korean food?” Soonyoung suggests.

“Pizza!” Chan yells.

“Pizza,” Jihoon tells Soonyoung with a smug grin.

Soonyoung sighs. “This is so unfair,” he complains, but takes a right towards where Jihoon remembers the pizza place is anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (look im sorry but its still december in the fic ur gonna have to read christmas and new years stuff out of date aaa)
> 
> behold, i have risen from the dead to bring you another 3000 words of non-content that i still don't fully understand why people seem to enjoy. thanks again to @tinydoodler who makes sure the things i write about kids isn't totally nonsensical and who also, in this particular chapter, suggested that i attribute wonwoo's glasses to his being "some sort of special human genus with this heightened appearance to attract a mate", that was a great idea that i shamelessly stole. **EDIT: She is also the reason the chapter is now called repurrt card day im so mad i didn't come up with it myself oh my god**
> 
> hope you enjoyed! please tell me what you thought about it either in the comments below or over on [my kpop tumblr](http://mysterywoozi.tumblr.com)!
> 
> (ps. to everyone who was waiting for jihoon to literally try to take a dump in his kitty litter i have decided that it won't be in the main story because. well. so far there has been no toilet humour in this so i thought it might be out of place. later on this sort of thing might fit but by then it'll be too late. if i do write it (and i really do wanna write it) it'll be a side story!)


	6. meeting new fur-iends

“Here we are,” Soonyoung announces brightly. He stops ( _parks_ , Jihoon thinks it’s called) the car in an alleyway beside a vaguely familiar Chinese restaurant, and it isn’t until Jihoon’s stepped out of the car that he realises why.

“This is where we first met,” he says, almost in a daze. This place, the place he used to call home– it’s changed. The walls have been repainted; the wooden boxes he used to sleep in aren’t there anymore. He wonders how long ago they were taken away, wonders if– if anyone had come looking for him–

“C’mon, Jihoonie, let’s go!” Soonyoung calls, hoisting Chan up onto his hip.

Jihoon’s gaze lingers a little more on the empty space where the boxes used to be, but he turns away before he can finish the thought.

“I’m coming,” he says, and he doesn’t look back.

\---

Jihoon’s quiet as they go up to Soonyoung’s studio. Soonyoung thinks it probably has to do with that alleyway; he remembers finding Jihoon there all those years ago, skinny and dirty and fierce as hell. He doesn’t know how he got there, or what memories he has associated to that place, but he doesn’t think it’s a pleasant story.

“Jihoonie, do you want Chinese for dinner?” Soonyoung asks loudly instead, putting on his brightest grin. “The Chinese place downstairs gives us discounts because so many of our students eat there after class.”

“Jjajjangmyeon!” Chan gasps, twisting around in Soonyoung’s grip to beam brightly at Jihoon. “Jihoonie, do you like jjajjangmyeon?”

“Uh,” says Jihoon, sounding startled, “I don’t– what is that?”

Chan makes the most horrified, scandalised gasp Soonyoung has ever heard. “Appa!” he cries, distraught, little fingers gripping at Soonyoung’s shirt. “Appa, we gotta have jjajjangmyeon tonight, Jihoonie doesn’t know what it is!”

Before Soonyoung can respond, Chan starts chattering to Jihoon about the wonders of jjajjangmyeon and how it’s the best in the world and how he can’t believe Jihoon’s never had it. Not surprising, really, since it’s his favourite food this month. Jihoon, when Soonyoung glances at him, looks utterly baffled. He’s out of that weird pensive mood though, so Soonyoung just smiles as he pushes open the glass door at the top of the stairs.

“Hyung,” Minghao greets from behind the receptionist desk. He beams when Chan turns to look at him, his tone much more excited as he says, “Hi, Channie!”

“Hi Uncle Minghao!” Chan giggles. Soonyoung puts him down so he and Minghao can do their stupid secret handshake that isn’t cool at all. (“Channie, why don’t we have a secret handshake?” he’d asked his son the first time he saw it. “Appa,” Chan had explained patiently, like Soonyoung was the toddler here, “that’s me and Uncle Minghao’s thing.”)

Once they’re done and Minghao’s smacked a kiss on Chan’s cheek, Soonyoung decides it’s a great time for introductions. “Minghao, this is my cousin Jihoon, he’s staying with me for a couple weeks. He’s older than you, so be nice to him,” he adds, only half-joking. Minghao is a little spitfire.

Jihoon’s gone to peer through the window into the small room, where Jun’s teaching a ballet class. He looks up at the sound of his name, glancing at Soonyoung before bowing at Minghao. “Hi,” he says, in that haughty I’m-just-humouring-you cat way. Soonyoung glares at him for being rude, but Jihoon, of course, ignores him.

Minghao’s smile in return is a little awkward, but mostly cotton-candy sweet. He’s always like this when he meets new people. (It’s all a façade, Minghao is a piece of shit.) “Hi,” he replies, hastily standing up and bowing back lower.

“Minghao teaches here,” Soonyoung tells Jihoon.

“Right,” says Jihoon, because what else can he say when he knows literally nothing about dance?

Thankfully, Chan is around to be the perfect icebreaker. “Uncle Minghao,” he says, tugging at the plaid shirt Minghao has tied around his waist purely for aesthetic. “Take out my blocks, I wanna show Jihoonie.”

“Maybe he will if you ask him nicely,” Soonyoung chides. Chan scowls, but Soonyoung is firm. He’s raising his son to be polite.

Chan obviously doesn’t care about being an acceptable member of society. He makes a big show of rolling his eyes and heaving a frustrated sigh, whining, “But appa!”

“Alright, no blocks for you, then,” Soonyoung says lightly, turning away–

“No!” Chan wails. Soonyoung turns back to him, raising his eyebrows expectantly. Chan fidgets under his gaze. “Uncle Minghao, will you take out my blocks please,” he mumbles eventually, eyes trained on the ground.

Soonyoung beams. He kneels down to pepper kisses across Chan’s chubby little cheeks. “Well done, sweetheart,” he cooes as Minghao goes to take the blocks out, ruffling Chan’s hair fondly on the way. Chan lets himself be coddled, though he’s obviously still a little grumpy.

Minghao pours a whole tubful of building blocks out on the coffee table in the waiting area, which makes Chan wriggle out of Soonyoung’s grip impatiently. He makes both Jihoon and Minghao sit with him– Soonyoung thinks it’s hilarious, how they’re both so prickly but Chan can make them melt with a single blink– and promptly starts clattering about with the blocks.

Soonyoung leaves them to entertain each other and sits down at the reception counter computer to do some work. There’s paperwork to fill and emails to reply; in other words, boring grown-up shit that he has to do because he at least had to pretend to be a Responsible Adult.

He quickly gets lost in his work; by the time he looks up again, half an hour has passed. Chan is happily chattering to Jihoon and Minghao about turtles, of all things, as he continues to build… something. Jihoon and Minghao seem to be making stilted, semi-awkward conversation, but there isn’t a stuffy atmosphere, so Soonyoung counts it a win.

Soonyoung stands up, stretching. He’s not made to sit at a desk all day, so he grabs his phone and slips into the big room. He gets his playlist of obnoxiously high-energy music blaring over the speakers, then slowly starts to warm up. He’s got a bit of time before his next class, a program he worked out with the local council for ahjummas who want a bit of exercise to keep fit. It’s one of his favourites, because the ahjummas are a lot of fun, but it also means he has to scratch his itch to go hard before they come.

He closes his eyes as the song starts to build. It’s amazing, how everything just melts away until it’s just him and the music, how the backing track cuts out and the vocal line just _floats_ , and Soonyoung feels like he can finally breathe.

One moment, two– then the beat drops, and Soonyoung is moving, all quick feet and strong movements, and he feels– free.

\---

Jihoon’s seen Soonyoung dance before– in the living room, with Chan, singing along terribly to some song on the TV– but never like _this_. Jihoon doesn’t know if it’s because he’s human now, or if it’s the strangely serious look on Soonyoung’s face, but it feels like he’s watching a whole different person. The Soonyoung he knows is soft and sweet and cuddly– this man is powerful, confident, moving with an easy grace that comes closer to being catlike than Soonyoung ever has in the years Jihoon’s known him. Jihoon feels a little like the breath has been knocked out of him.

“Pretty cool, huh?” says a voice right next to him. Jihoon jumps, just a little, and turns to see a tall, dark-haired man standing to his right. “He’s a great dancer.”

“Um, yeah,” says Jihoon, for lack of anything better to say.

“Oh, I’m Junhui, by the way,” the man says, with a bright smile.

Ah, yes, Minghao was telling Jihoon about him earlier. He was the one teaching all the tiptoe-twirly dancing earlier, in the smaller room. He’s also, Jihoon remembers, technically the reason why Jihoon isn’t a cat right now, because Yoojung the witch had meant to give that weird star thing to Jun and not Soonyoung. Not that he could have known, but Jihoon can’t help feeling suspicious of him anyway. “Jihoon,” he says cautiously, eyeing Jun warily.

Junhui doesn’t seem fazed. “I haven’t seen you around before, are you here for a class?”

Jihoon turns back to watching Soonyoung through the little window, hoping it’ll discourage further conversation. Junhui’s obviously cheery and friendly, and Jihoon is obviously not. “No,” says Jihoon shortly.

“Oh. Well, do you want to try? We don’t normally do one-on-one taster sessions, but I’m sure we can make an exception for a cutie like you.”

That makes Jihoon side-eye Junhui with distaste. As far as he knows, “cute” is a term reserved for children, and Jihoon is very much a full-grown adult.

“Whoa,” says Junhui, looking startled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you or anything. I was just, uh, trying to give you a compliment. You’re a very attractive man, is what I’m trying to say.”

Now it just feels like this guy is mocking the fact that Jihoon’s lost his cat body and is stuck in this ugly unfurred human one. “Thanks,” Jihoon snaps, upset at the reminder, and stalks off to have a nice cuddle with his favourite little human.

Minghao, over at the waiting area, is almost rolling on the floor with laughter. “I’m sorry about him,” Minghao says, wiping a tear from his eye as Jihoon unhappily settles Chan into his lap. “Don’t worry, he knows how to take a hint, he won’t bother you anymore.”

Jihoon sniffs, but doesn’t say anything. It’s– well, it’s mostly not Junhui’s fault, but the subject of his body is still a sensitive issue, made worse by the fact that if Junhui hadn’t called in sick that day Jihoon would still be a beautiful orange tabby.

“I’d better go make sure he’s okay,” Minghao says, still shaking with laughter. “Sometimes the drama queen doesn’t take it too well when his ego’s popped. Thanks for that, hyung, that was the funniest thing I’ve seen all week!” He goes over to where Junhui’s standing in the corridor, wearing a shocked, dejected expression. Jihoon presses his nose to Chan’s hair and tries to calm himself down. He’s going to have to get used to people assuming he’s human, at least for these three weeks. Two, in fact, he realises suddenly, because it’s already been one whole week!

The thought makes him feel a little lighter, if not happier, and he sighs into Chan’s hair. Just two more weeks. Two more weeks.

Unless Yoojung fails. In which case it’ll be a whole– a whole year.

Jihoon takes a shuddering breath and tightens his arms around Chan, holding him close.

“Jihoonie,” Chan’s complaining, because Jihoon’s hold on him is stopping him from playing.

“Sorry,” Jihoon mutters, but can’t really seem to let go. Chan stills, lets himself be held for a little while, which Jihoon appreciates. A few older ladies come in with a burst of bright chatter, bowing politely at the sight of him, so he bows back with a little smile he hopes is masking his panic. As they disappear into the room Soonyoung was in, Jihoon takes a deep breath and loosens his hold on Chan. He’s an adult. He has to deal with this.

“Go on,” Jihoon tells him with a little smile. “What were you building, hmm?”

Chan is not swayed. He squirms around so he’s facing Jihoon, face is furrowed into a serious little frown. “Jihoonie, are you sad?” he wants to know, tiny hands holding Jihoon’s cheeks.

Jihoon’s surprised. “No,” he says, which is mostly true. He’s afraid, yes, worried, but not– sad, not really. “Why do you say that, Channie?”

“When I’m sad I always want cuddles from appa and Jihoonie,” Chan says. “And then after I’m all better! Appa says cuddles heal your heart. Like kisses for owies!”

That makes Jihoon smile. “I do feel better, thank you,” he assures Chan. “Sorry for worrying you.”

Chan shakes his head. “It’s not done yet!” he insists. “The sad doesn’t go away until you talk about it, that’s what appa says!”

Jihoon frowns. Now that’s something he doesn’t understand. “Talk?”

“Yeah! If you don’t talk about it the sad just keeps coming back and back like a big monster!” Chan illustrates by making claws out of his fingers and baring his teeth in a terrifying fashion. “And the monster keeps biting you, see, and it keeps making you sad over and over and over!”

Well. Maybe it’s something humans have to do. Certainly when he was a cat it was a lot easier to compartmentalise and just keep going instead of being worried about something all the time. Jihoon’s annoyed that it’s yet another thing that damn spell has taken away from him.

“It’s alright,” Jihoon says instead. “That monster only bites humans, see? I’m a cat, so I’ll be fine.”

“No!” wails Chan, scowling at Jihoon. “You were magicked into human, remember?”

Jihoon has a flash of the conversation he had with Soonyoung last night– _“maybe,”_ Soonyoung had said, “ _while you’re human, you should just be human_.”

Maybe there was some truth to that, but… well, Jihoon’d been an indoor cat for the past five years, and even before that it wasn’t like he’d ever had anyone to talk to. He doesn’t like the idea of anyone knowing how vulnerable he’s feeling, not even Soonyoung.

“I’ll be fine,” Jihoon says eventually, trying for a reassuring tone. “The monster knows a cat when it sees one.”

Unfortunately, Chan is having none of it. He scrunches up his face in the most defiant look Jihoon’s ever seen on his little face, then climbs to his feet and dashes over to the room Soonyoung and all those older ladies are in. “Appa!” he cries in a bit of a whine.

Jihoon scrambles after him. “W-Wait, Channie–”

It’s too late. “Appa!” Chan cries, tottering into the room.

“Omo!” the ladies say, as Jihoon hurries in after him. “What a cutie! Ssem, is this your son?”

Soonyoung looks surprised, but drops the towel in his hands to sweep Chan into his arms. “Yeah, this is Channie,” he tells the ladies with a grin, then asks Chan, “What is it, baby?”

“Appa, appa,” Chan is saying, sounding distraught, “Jihoonie is sad and he won’t talk about it and now the sad monster is gonna keep coming back to bite him!”

Soonyoung eyes flick over to Jihoon’s in surprise. “It’s– nothing,” Jihoon tries, suddenly acutely aware of the ladies in the room and how their eyes immediately snap to him when he speaks. It’s uncomfortable, and he can feel his face starting to heat up, which is still sort of alarming even though Soonyoung explained to him a few days ago that it’s a normal human response to embarrassment.

Soonyoung seems to understand. He turns a bright smile to the women and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’ll be right back,” then swiftly exits the room, Chan in his arms and a guiding hand on Jihoon’s back.

Soonyoung presses a kiss to Chan’s forehead, then sets him down. “Go play with Uncle Minghao or Uncle Jun, okay?” he tells Chan, prompting him in the direction of Junhui and Minghao, who are talking quietly slightly further down the corridor, in front of the toilet door.

“So,” Soonyoung says to Jihoon, as they walk into the waiting area, “what’s this about?”

Jihoon shrugs, not meeting Soonyoung’s eyes. “It’s nothing, really,” he says. “I was just– annoyed, at something Jun said to me, is all.”

Soonyoung hums, obviously disbelieving. “What did he say?”

Jihoon lets out an exasperated huff. “ _Nothing_ , Soonyoung.” When Soonyoung continues to look unimpressed, Jihoon squirms and adds, reluctantly, “Just– something that reminded me I’m stuck like this for another two weeks, that’s all.”

That, Soonyoung seems to believe. He looks like he wants to say something, but shakes his head. “Let’s talk about this back home, okay?” he says, in the same soothing voice that coaxed Jihoon out of that alleyway, then wraps Jihoon up in a warm hug. It’s nice, but Soonyoung is also kind of sweaty, so Jihoon allows it for three seconds before kicking up a fuss.

Soonyoung lets himself be pushed away with a laugh, just as the front door opens, and another gaggle of older women come through, chattering loudly. “Oh, ssem!” they exclaim when they see Soonyoung, bowing in greeting. “Good afternoon!”

“Good afternoon,” Soonyoung calls back, smiling, as the women head into the same room as the others. “I have a class now– will you be okay?” he asks Jihoon.

Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Nothing’s wrong in the first place,” he insists. “I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Soonyoung agrees, with an air that suggests he doesn’t actually agree. “Just a few more hours, then we’ll go home. Alright?”

“Whatever,” Jihoon grumbles, though he will be glad to get away from all these strangers. “Don’t you have to go?”

Soonyoung grins, ruffles Jihoon’s hair (which reminds Jihoon of the old head scritches and is actually surprisingly comforting), then disappears into the room and closes the door behind him.

Jihoon sighs. He’s not looking forward to this “talking” thing at all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dude what the heck why did jihoonie become all sad this wasn't what was meant to happen
> 
> (i mean it's not like a really have that much of a plan but this chapter was supposed to be meeting chinaline and then jun trying to hit on jihoon and getting Shot Down bigtime where did the sad monster come from)
> 
> anyway. i'm sorry i've been dead for the past couple months, been having exams and assignments and the like. as much as i'd love to get a degree in writing catfic that gets me no jobs so. thanks for understanding guys, ily~
> 
> PS. soonyoung's dance studio is called H Dance Studio. the H is, of course, for Hurricane  
> PPS. the word count in my word doc is now 20,053 like what the heck most of this is non-content it's just dumb boys living their dumb lives how did it get so long omg i'm sorry this is going to be super super slow burn


	7. ex-hiss-tential crisis

Jihoon expects– well, he doesn’t really know what he’s expecting, but it certainly isn’t what happens. Where Jihoon is dreading the ‘talk’ Soonyoung promised they’d have later, Soonyoung runs through the entire dinner-bath-bed routine with Chan like nothing’s out of the ordinary. Jihoon was hoping he’d forgotten, but then Soonyoung stops him from going to sleep with Chan like he normally does. Instead, Jihoon’s put into comfortable pajamas, sat on the sofa and swathed in soft blankets, then given a steaming mug of hot chocolate to sip at as Soonyoung settles onto the other end of the sofa.

“Alright, Jihoonie,” Soonyoung begins, bringing his legs up into a sprawl on the sofa. “Rule number three: you have to tell me if you’re feeling upset about something.”

“I’m not upset,” Jihoon mumbles half-heartedly, picking at his blanket.

“That’s not what Channie says,” Soonyoung points out. “I’ve noticed it too, your mood’s been getting worse and worse all week. What’s going on?”

Jihoon doesn’t say anything.

Soonyoung’s tone turns soft, worried. “Look, I don’t know what it’s like for cats, but humans? We can’t do everything on our own. It’s okay to need help or support sometimes. And I want to do that for you, but I can’t if I don’t know what the problem is.”

Jihoon shrinks a little at his words, but says nothing.

“Is this about Jun?” Soonyoung tries again. “Did he make you uncomfortable earlier? I can make sure he doesn’t hit on you again.”

“It’s not him,” Jihoon blurts out. “And he never hit me.”

Soonyoung blinks, looking confused, then huffs a little laugh. “No, not _hit_ you, hit _on_ you,” he says, then shakes his head. “Never mind, it’s not important. If it wasn’t him, then…?”

Jihoon fidgets with the mug in his hands for a few moments. “It’s stupid,” he grumbles eventually.

“It can’t be if you’re this worried about it,” Soonyoung tells him. “Go on, I won’t laugh.”

It takes a while more for Jihoon to gather the courage. Soonyoung waits, doesn’t push, just sips at his own hot chocolate.

“What if Yoojung fails?” Jihoon hears himself ask, voice tiny. His eyes flick up to meet Soonyoung’s. “What if she can’t turn me back? What if I’m like this forever?”

It’s only when the words leave Jihoon’s mouth that he realises how _terrified_ he is. Soonyoung’s eyes are soft, his face worried and pitying. He opens his mouth to say something, but Jihoon shakes his head.

“I know it’s stupid,” he says harshly, his voice starting to shake. “I know there’s nothing either of us can do about it, that it’s just something I’ll have to deal with, but I just can’t– I can’t _deal with it_.” He’s choking on his words now, his grip on his mug so tight his knuckles are turning white, and it’s a horrifying thing that he now knows when human knuckles turn white, just like it’s a horrifying thing that he’s taking baths and showers every day, that he’s using little metal contraptions to shovel food into his mouth, that he’s bowing to strangers because it’s the _polite,_ _human_ thing to do. It’s just– too much.

“You said, _be human_ , and I– I’m trying, I really am, but– everything is so _different_ ,” Jihoon chokes. “ _I’m_ different. And I– I’m _scared_ , Soonyoung. It’s only been a week and I already miss _everything_. I can’t– scent mark, or– or climb on top of the fridge– hell, I can’t even fit into Chan’s bed properly anymore!” He’s– crying, now, he thinks, shoulders shaking and vision blurry and it’s not loud and wailing like how Chan cries, it’s quiet and intense and his chest is so tight he feels like the breath is being pushed out of him. “What if– what if–”

The words catch in his throat and suddenly Soonyoung is close, gently prying his mug out of his hands and wrapping him up in a hug. “Shh, hey, it’s okay,” he’s whispering, his fingers carding gently through Jihoon’s hair. “I’m sorry, this is my fault. I forced all this human stuff on you, forced you to give up being a cat. I shouldn’t have tried to make you into something you’re not.”

“No,” Jihoon gasps into Soonyoung’s shoulder. No, that’s not what Jihoon’s trying to say, that’s not what he’s afraid of. What if– what if–

“What if you were right?” Jihoon whispers. “What if I’m– different, now, what if I– forget how to be a cat?”

That makes Soonyoung suck in a breath, startled, but Jihoon can’t stop now. He pushes away from Soonyoung’s embrace to look him in the eye.

“What if after I– learn how to be human, I– can’t stop? And what if– what if I’m turned back, and I have to learn how to be a cat again, but there isn’t a cat around to teach me?” He swallows. “What if– what if I forget who I am?”

And that’s it, that’s Jihoon’s fears and worries laid bare, and he just– he knows it’s stupid, knows that nothing can be done, and he knows that if he were still a cat, this kind of concern wouldn’t even cross his mind, which is just a sign of how different he’s become in just one short week, but he can’t– can’t stop himself from feeling, so much, too much. He drops his gaze to his lap, where Soonyoung’s hands have taken his and are stroking, soft and soothing, just like he used to before this whole thing started.

“Are you done?” Soonyoung asks gently after a moment or two.

When Jihoon doesn’t reply, he continues, “Look… I can’t say you’ll never forget. People change. Cats do, too, I’ve watched you change so much over the past five years. But– even if your tastes change, or your habits change, or even if your body changes– you’re still _you_. Curious, disobedient, loving, stubborn as hell– those are things that you were, and that you still are. Just because you’re not a cat anymore, that doesn’t mean you’ve lost who you are. You’re different, sure– but I think, at your core, you haven’t changed one bit. And hey– even if you forget how to be a cat when you turn back, Channie and I will be here to help you remember!”

That makes Jihoon huff a laugh despite himself. “Not sure you two are the best teachers,” he retorts, wiping at his wet eyes with the back of his hand.

Soonyoung grins. “What, you don’t trust us?”

“No,” Jihoon snorts, then pauses. “Yes,” he admits, not meeting Soonyoung’s eye. He leans forward to bury his face in Soonyoung’s shoulder, sniffling.

Soonyoung pulls him into his arms, and hey, Jihoon might be too big for Chan to cuddle now but Soonyoung isn’t having any trouble. It makes Jihoon feel safe and warm. Loved.

“We can get you a friend to teach you, if you want,” Soonyoung says after a moment. “An actual cat, not just two dumb humans pretending they know what they’re doing.”

Jihoon huffs a little laugh. He can’t imagine his humans chasing after two cats, both jumping on the furniture and clawing the back of the sofa and breaking things all over the apartment. “I’ll think about it,” he says, smiling just a little. “Thank you, Soonyoung.”

“No problem, Jihoonie,” Soonyoung says back, fingers once again stroking through Jihoon’s hair, and Jihoon gets the feeling that, one way or another, everything will be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry this is a short one, but i thought it logically made sense to isolate this part from the rest of the fic. things got a little serious - jihoon just wouldn't let it go so i thought it'd be best to let him get it out of his system, ahah. more domestic cute shenanigans after this, i promise!
> 
> thanks for reading, see you guys again soon :)


	8. let's go to the mar-cat

Jihoon wakes up slowly the next morning. His eyes feel puffy and gritty, and his mouth feels dry, but his heart is a thousand times lighter and he feels like he can finally breathe. It feels good.

He opens his eyes and comes face to face with a sleeping Soonyoung. He looks stupid, with his hair in an absolute rat’s nest and one arm thrown up over his ear, and Jihoon feels a strong surge of affection for his silly human.

As if on cue, Soonyoung lets out a loud snore and startles himself awake.

“Oh,” he says in a daze, after blinking at Jihoon for a good three seconds. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Jihoon says back quietly. He scoots closer, tucking his head under Soonyoung’s chin and rubbing gently, purring as best he can with his human throat.

“This is kinda weird now that you’re human,” Soonyoung grumbles, but he lets Jihoon cuddle him, so Jihoon doesn’t really care.

“Pet me,” Jihoon demands instead.

“You’re so bossy,” Soonyoung complains, but slides his fingers into Jihoon’s hair anyway. That’s one thing that hasn’t changed: he’s never been able to say no when Jihoon wants to be pet.

They stay like that for a while, Soonyoung lazily stroking the hair at the base of Jihoon’s skull, Jihoon purring. It’s nice, nice enough that Jihoon’s falling asleep again…

Suddenly, there’s an ominous patter of feet down the hallway, and then the door bursts open. “Appa!” Chan’s voice yells, right before he leaps onto the bed and lands on both Soonyoung and Jihoon.

Soonyoung yelps in surprise, but Chan isn’t fazed, too busy yelling, “Appa, Jihoonie, no fair, I’m cold and I want cuddles too!” over and over again.

“Alright, alright, little brat,” Soonyoung mock-growls. Chan shrieks with delight as Soonyoung grabs him and messes up his hair and smothers him in kisses, before bundling him up in his arms and falling back on the bed on his side so they’re both facing Jihoon. Jihoon laughs and cups Chan’s face in his hands and kisses him too, just to hear Chan’s lovely little giggles.

Soonyoung reaches out with an arm and pulls Jihoon closer, squashing Chan between them. “Appa, no!” Chan laughs, squirming about.

“What?” Soonyoung teases. “We’re cuddling! We’re keeping you warm!”

“Let gooo,” Chan whines, giggling, and Soonyoung laughs back, pulling away.

The three of them just roll around in bed for a bit. Soonyoung teaches Jihoon how to tickle Chan under his arms and how to blow a raspberry on Chan’s tummy and a variety of rhymes and songs, some of which make no sense to Jihoon.

(“This is my kitty cat, this is his kitty fat, it goes pat pat pat!” Soonyoung sings, cradling Chan in his lap and making him smack his little hands against his stomach.

Jihoon makes a face at them. “He’s… not a kitty cat,” he says slowly, frowning at them. Is this some weird human thing again?

Soonyoung and Chan look at each other for all of two seconds before they both reach over and drum at Jihoon’s belly instead, yelling in unison, “This is my kitty cat, this is his kitty fat–!”)

It’s a warm morning with his two favourite humans, just like they’ve always had, but now Jihoon can tickle and blow raspberries and sing, all of which make Chan’s eyes light up with joy.

That’s what makes Jihoon’s mind up for him. How many ways can he bring that smile to Chan’s face as a human that he can’t as a cat? Jihoon’s determined to find out before his time as a human is up.

\---

Saturday is market day, so Soonyoung eventually chivvies Chan and Jihoon out of bed and into the bathroom to wash up. Jihoon’s been surprisingly helpful with Chan in the mornings, making sure he doesn’t get distracted or start making a mess, which leaves Soonyoung free to make the beds and sort out a light breakfast before they get going. He’s never realised how convenient it is to have a second set of hands and eyes just to help out with Chan. Jihoon’s always tried to help, he supposes, but in cat form he’s always been more of a hindrance.

They have a light toast-and-fruit breakfast, then Soonyoung bundles them up in coats and scarves and cute animal hats (a cat for Jihoon and a dinosaur for Chan, of course; Soonyoung grabs a hamster for himself) and gets them into the car. Jihoon displays an interest in Chan’s car seat, so Soonyoung talks him through doing it up properly, then makes sure he does his own seatbelt up properly before taking to the road.

It’s just after 10am when they arrive at the market, which means they’re right on schedule. Soonyoung gets Jihoon to undo Chan’s car seat, too; once he’s back on solid ground, Chan takes Jihoon’s hand and tugs him along, chattering his ear off about the solar system and how the planets are arranged around the sun and other space-y stuff that Jihoon absolutely 100% has no clue about. Soonyoung silently pulls the market trolley along next to them, smiling at how Jihoon gazes at Chan with such sheer adoration as Chan toddles up the steps to the market proper. Honestly, apart from himself, Soonyoung thinks nobody loves Chan more than Jihoon does.

“Omo, Soonyoungie, good morning!” cries his usual fish-seller ahjumma when he comes to a stop in front of her stall, beaming brightly at him. She has the loveliest, most sunshiney smile of anyone Soonyoung knows– even Seokmin’s can’t compare. “I missed you last week, did you go on holiday with little Channie?”

Soonyoung beams back at her, giving a little half-bow. “Good morning, eomonim,” he greets. “No, I just had to go into work last week. Such a shame we didn’t get to see your lovely smile!”

She laughs uproariously. “I’m much too old for you, sweetheart,” she tells him with a twinkle in her eye. “And hi, little Channie, how are you today?”

“Hello, eomonim!” Chan chimes brightly, bowing without even having to be reminded. “I’m very well today, how are you?” He turns to Soonyoung proudly once he’s finished, and Soonyoung ruffles his hair for a job well done.

“I’m very well, too, thank you!” the ahjumma says. “And who is this with you, an uncle?”

“This is Jihoonie!” Chan tells her. “He’s our cat, he turned into a man by magic!”

This startles a laugh out of her. “Oh, is that so?” she says, obviously humouring him. “Is that why he’s wearing your little cat beanie today?”

“Uh-huh!”

Soonyoung smiles awkwardly at her. “He’s– a friend,” he says, hoping it’s close enough to the truth that Chan won’t immediately call him out. “Uh, Lee Jihoon.”

Thankfully, she doesn’t press further, just smiles kindly at Jihoon as they exchange bows. “Jihoonie, huh?” she says. “You’re a real cute one!”

Jihoon looks startled. “Cute?” he repeats, evidently less-than-thrilled by the term.

The fish ahjumma bursts into laughter. “Don’t look so put out, it’s a compliment. We cuties can get suckers like Soonyoungie here to do whatever we want! Isn’t that right, Channie?”

“Yep!”

“Hey!” Soonyoung protests. He’s not a sucker!

Horrifyingly, the distaste has slid off Jihoon’s face, replaced by a look of contemplation. Jihoon already has too much power over Soonyoung, if he learns how to actively make use of his cuteness Soonyoung will never be able to refuse him again.

“Alright, alright, I came for fish, not this abuse,” Soonyoung jokes. “Eomonim, what do you have for me today?”

Soonyoung can hear Chan and Jihoon whispering about something while he and the ahjumma bargain, but for once they let him live and keep it to themselves. It isn’t until they’ve said their goodbyes and are walking away that Soonyoung overhears Chan saying, with an air of wisdom, “If you make your face all sad like this, and pull appa’s shirt like that, he’ll definitely buy it for you.”

“What are you teaching Jihoonie, you little rascal?” Soonyoung mock-scolds, gently tugging Chan’s ear in pretend punishment. Chan just laughs and bats Soonyoung’s hand away, totally unfazed.

“Life skills!” he quips, the cheeky brat.

They make the rounds with their usual vendors. Predictably, Chan tells the same story to all of them, and thankfully none of them believe him. At some point Soonyoung and Jihoon swap, so Jihoon’s pulling the market trolley and Soonyoung’s carrying a toddler in his arms. Jihoon seems particularly taken with the clothes and toy stalls, so they stop to have a look, but Soonyoung has to steel himself and put his foot down because Chan’s employing his appa-buy-me-things technique over at least one thing in every stall, and while Jihoon is, thankfully, not contributing, he doesn’t step in to save Soonyoung either, too busy inspecting the toys. Soonyoung can practically see his tail waving, he looks so focused.

In the hopes of keeping both Chan and Jihoon distracted, Soonyoung ends up buying a little plastic ball that changes colours when thrown. It works wonders; both are gasping with delight and taking turns tossing the toy in the air, which leaves Soonyoung free to do his shopping in peace.

They come across the meat ahjumma, the one Jihoon wanted to come and see, towards the end of their market run.

“Hello, eomonim,” Soonyoung greets her, touching Jihoon’s elbow to catch his attention. It works; Jihoon stares at her, wide-eyed, the toy in his hands forgotten.

“Jihoonie, throw it,” whines Chan, tugging at Jihoon’s shirt.

“Greet eomonim first,” Soonyoung chides. Chan bows impatiently, obviously more interested in the toy, followed by Jihoon, who bows much lower than Soonyoung ever recalls seeing.

The meat ahjumma smiles warmly. “Hello, my sons,” she tells them. “What can I get for you today?”

Soonyoung smiles back and rattles off what he needs. She’s not his regular vendor, but from what Jihoon has said it seems she played a big part in keeping Jihoon alive five years ago, so Soonyoung is happy to support her in any way he can.

Jihoon doesn’t say anything. He gives the toy up to Chan, but doesn’t contribute to the banter Soonyoung strikes up with her, just watches quietly. It’s not unusual, for Jihoon, so Soonyoung lets him be.

“So,” Soonyoung says when they’re walking away from her stall. “You happy to see her?”

Jihoon nods slowly. “She’s changed,” he says quietly. “But she looks well. I’m glad.”

Soonyoung smiles. It’s rare to see Jihoon so soft for someone other than him or Chan. “We’ll come see her again next week,” he promises. “You can make friends with her as a human, how about that?”

Jihoon nods again, this time more sure. “I’d like that,” he says.

“Appa!” Chan interrupts with a gasp, turning to face them with wide eyes. “Appa, appa, look, the tteokbokki ahjussi is here! Can we have that for lunch, _please_?”

Soonyoung checks the time. It’s a little earlier than their usual lunch time, but it’s probably alright. “Sure,” he agrees. “Why not?”

“Yay!” Chan cheers. He immediately takes Jihoon’s hand, already chattering a mile a minute about the wonders of tteokbokki and how much Jihoon would love it as he makes a beeline for their favourite tteokbokki stall.

Soonyoung shakes his head, chuckling to himself, then follows before he loses them in the crowd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a little shorter than i thought it was; normally i prefer 2k+ words a chapter but i guess because i wrote this at the same time as the last one my brain thought they were all in one chapter.... 
> 
> anyway! hope you enjoyed~ told you we'd be back to regular scheduled domesticity after that heavy last chapter, haha.
> 
> please leave a comment if you liked it! or if you didn't, i'd love to hear feedback :) you can also reach me on tumblr @mysterywoozi (and also twitter but i. don't really use it that much lol)
> 
> links for your viewing pleasure:  
> [this is my kitty cat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8mEejMbuj8)  
> [channie's dinosaur hat](http://www.canadacosplay.com/dinohat.php)  
> [jihoon's cat hat](http://littlebitofbass.tumblr.com/post/63579976621)  
> [soonyoung's hamster hat](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41WWPPzP7EL.jpg) (found on amazon; for some reason the link to the page doesn't work)  
> [the colour-changing ball toy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cv4krHyt2s)


	9. the beast in the clawset

The rest of the day passes in their typical routine. Soonyoung gets chores done as he always does on Saturdays. He turns putting groceries away into a game for Chan and Jihoon while he loads the washer with a load of whites, which, honestly, Soonyoung still can’t believe he’s gotten to the point of adulthood where he’s sorting his laundry by colour instead of dumping them all in at once like he used to do in university.

With the washer spinning merrily away, Soonyoung has Chan put his toys away and gets Jihoon to wipe down the dining table and kitchen counters while he gets the hoover out of the closet.

In retrospect, Soonyoung shouldn’t have been surprised when Jihoon hisses and snarls at the sight of it. He even leaps onto the dining table, tense, staring at the hoover with undisguised apprehension. “The beast,” Jihoon spits, tense.

“Off the table!” Soonyoung reminds him, trying to be stern even though all he wants is to laugh. “And this isn’t a beast, it’s just a machine.”

“It’s a _monster_ ,” Jihoon insists stubbornly, but begrudgingly climbs down so he’s perched on a chair instead of the table.

“It’s a _hoover_ ,” Soonyoung tells him, amused. “Maybe if you do the hoovering this time, you’ll stop being so afraid of it.”

Jihoon shoots him a horrified, betrayed look. “That thing wants to _eat me_!” he cries. “I’m not going anywhere near it.”

Soonyoung can’t help but laugh. “It’s not going to eat you, Jihoonie! It’s never eaten me, has it?”

“That’s because you’ve tamed it,” Jihoon sniffs, like it’s obvious. His eyes are still trained on the hoover like a hawk. “One day, it’ll turn on you and I won’t even save you.” He pauses. “Well, I’d seriously consider not saving you.”

“Aww, you love me too much to let me get eaten,” Soonyoung teases.

Jihoon scowls, but doesn’t say anything. Soonyoung has to go over and ruffle his hair, because it really is lovely to have confirmation that his cat loves him back.

Jihoon stays on the chair, glaring holes into the hoover, the whole time Soonyoung spends hoovering the apartment. He’s supposed to be cleaning, but Soonyoung can’t find it in him to scold him when he has that terrified look on his face. He does make sure to show Jihoon the dust when he empties it into the bin, though. “Look, no cats or humans in the hoover,” he says, in the tone he reserves for reassuring Chan there are no monsters under his bed. “Just dust. That’s all it eats.”

“For now,” Jihoon says darkly. Soonyoung just gives up at that point, shaking his head. Maybe one day he’ll be able to train this fear out of Jihoon, but today isn’t that day.

After putting the hoover away, Soonyoung puts Chan in front of some kids’ show featuring cartoon frogs to keep him occupied and makes a start on the more intense chores. Jihoon, now that the hoover’s gone, is starting to make quick work of wiping down the kitchen surfaces, so Soonyoung shows him how to clean off the stove and the backsplash as well before heading off to tackle the bathroom.

A squirt of bleach and a quick scrub of the toilet later, the washing machine gives a series of obnoxious beeps, so Soonyoung washes his hands and swaps out the newly-washed white load for the colours, then takes the basket of wet clothes out to the living room and sets up the clothes horse near the heater. Chan immediately comes over to help – it’s one of his favourite chores, though he isn’t particularly helpful.

Once the basket is empty and half the rack is loaded with wet clothes, Soonyoung kisses Chan’s forehead in thanks and goes back to the bathroom. He manages to clean the bathtub and sink, and even scrub some grout out of some of the tiles while he’s at it, before the washer beeps again. This time, Jihoon wanders over to the clothes horse with Chan, apparently finished with the kitchen, and Soonyoung finds, once again, that a pair of adult hands make a huge difference.

“Maybe you should stay human,” Soonyoung jokes, grinning. “Would make my life a lot easier!”

Jihoon levels him a look that plainly tells him he’s being ridiculous, and settles back down in front of the TV with Chan in his lap.

“Could you at least help me roll up the rug before you kick your legs up,” Soonyoung complains, fully aware he sounds exactly like his mother. Jihoon sighs like he’s been so horribly inconvenienced, but drops a kiss to the top of Chan’s head and leaves him on the sofa anyway. The two of them carry the coffee table out of the way (“Appa, I can’t see!”), roll the rug up and move it so it’s off the floor.

“Are you going to take out the fur-stick now?” Jihoon asks curiously.

“Fur-stick?” Soonyoung repeats, incredulous.

Jihoon scowls. “Don’t make fun of me,” he huffs. “I don’t know, it looks like fur on the end of a stick. You put it in water and make the floor all wet.”

Oh. Well, Soonyoung supposes it sort of is a fur stick. “It’s called a mop,” he corrects gently, “and yes, I’m about to mop the floors.” He shoots Jihoon a suspicious look. “I shouldn’t need to tell you this, but you’re too big to go for a ride on it now.”

Jihoon’s face visibly falls.

“Feel free to do the mopping, though,” Soonyoung suggests, mostly as a joke. “Or you can go roll up the rugs in our rooms like we did earlier, I need to mop in there, too.”

Soonyoung fully expects Jihoon to sniff and stalk back into the living room to join Chan, but surprisingly, he nods and heads for the bedrooms without another word, though he does so with a put-upon sigh. He figures he shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, so he decides he’ll give Jihoon a thank-you hug later and goes to make up the cleaning solution.

Even though Jihoon’s been forbidden from trying to lay on the mop to hitch a ride, he still seems to get some kind of joy out of watching Soonyoung mop. He tails Soonyoung as he mops, which would be creepy from a human, but is perfectly normal for a cat, so Soonyoung lets him be. He’s grateful for the company, anyway– they chat for a little bit, mostly about why the mopping and general cleaning is necessary. Soonyoung isn’t convinced that Jihoon really understands what he’s trying to say, but can’t be bothered to call him out. After all, he’ll be back to normal in couple of weeks, and it won’t matter to him then anyway.

Once the mopping is finished, Soonyoung is finally done with his weekly chores. He cleans up– rinses the bucket of mop water, wrings the mop out and leaves it to dry in a corner– then washes his hands and shoos Jihoon away so he can take a shower.

“Disgusting,” Jihoon tells him, making a face. “How do you stand spending so long in so much water, every single day?”

“I don’t want to hear that from somebody who licks his own ass,” Soonyoung retorts without thinking, then cringes. “Oh god, please don’t tell me you do that in your human body, human mouths aren’t equipped to deal with butt germs.”

Jihoon rolls his eyes. “It wouldn’t work anyway, your tongues are too soft,” he dismisses. “And anyway, I can’t reach.”

“Wait, so you’ve _tried_ to– you know what, I’m going to stop right there, I’m done with this conversation,” Soonyoung sighs, shaking his head. “Go on, shoo, go watch cartoons with Chan, I’ll join you in a bit.”

“Like I was going to stay,” Jihoon huffs, turning to go.

“You’ve literally sat in the sink watching me shower before,” Soonyoung reminds him. It’s how he found out the bathroom door was wonky. He’d almost had a heart attack the first time he closed the door to shower but came face to face with his cat mid-shampoo anyway.

Jihoon pointedly ignores him and closes the door on the way out.

\---

When Soonyoung comes back into the living room, hair wet and dressed in his favourite threadbare sweater, Chan is chattering at Jihoon as credits roll on the TV. They’d been watching that one dinosaur show earlier, Soonyoung could tell from the music alone. Chan must have seen it a hundred times, but he never seems to get tired of it. To be fair, it is a spectacular piece of work, made as if it was a nature documentary filmed in present day, with the help of some amazing CGI.

“I’ve never seen a dinosaur before, where do they live?” Jihoon is asking.

“They’re ‘stink!” Chan tells him brightly. “I learned that word from Jeon-ssem, it means the dinosaurs lived a long long long time ago and all of them are gone now!”

Soonyoung laughs as he drops onto the sofa next to them, scooping Chan up into his arms for a cuddle. “It’s pronounced ‘extinct’, darling,” he corrects gently.

“’Eh-stink’,” Chan repeats diligently.

“Close enough,” Soonyoung decides. “Thank you for helping do the chores today, sweetheart.”

“You’re welcome, appa,” Chan giggles.

“Oh, what a well-mannered boy!” Soonyoung cooes, peppering kisses all over Chan’s face even as Chan shrieks with laughter and tries to wriggle free.

“Appa!” he yells. “Tickles!”

“Rude! Appa’s just showing you how much he loves you,” Soonyoung tells him, but lets him go after one more loud, smacking kiss. Chan escapes over Jihoon’s lap to the other side of the sofa, still giggling madly as he goes.

Soonyoung lets him be and leans over to ruffle Jihoon’s hair affectionately. “Thanks to you, too, Jihoonie,” he says, smiling. “You were a huge help today.”

Jihoon leans his head into Soonyoung’s touch, making a rumbly approximation of a purr that Soonyoung hadn’t thought humans capable of. Soonyoung’s seen him do the exact same thing in his cat body so often, he can almost forget Jihoon’s human right now.

“Appa, you won’t give Jihoonie hugs and kisses too?” Chan wants to know. He looks absolutely devastated by this news. “Appa, you have to or he won’t know you love him.”

Soonyoung laughs. “Of course, how could I forget,” he says, scooching over to give Jihoon a hug, who surprisingly hugs him back easily. Cat-Jihoon had barely tolerated hugs, and while the past week showed that human-Jihoon is decidedly cuddlier (probably thanks to the no face-rubbing rule), he still doesn’t seem to like hugs that aren’t entirely on his terms.

“Kisses too, appa,” Chan reminds him.

“Yes, yes.” This is sort of awkward, because Soonyoung literally hasn’t kissed a grown human in nearly five years, but this is Jihoon, his _cat_ , who he kisses all the time. So he doesn’t think too hard about it and presses a kiss to Jihoon’s temple, just like he used to kiss behind cat-Jihoon’s ears, then pulls away.

“Right,” Soonyoung says brightly, standing. “There’s some time before dinner; shall we watch a movie?”

Chan cheers and immediately has about twelve suggestions of what to watch. They end up watching an animated movie about taming dragons that, despite being released years ago, they haven’t seen before. (Soonyoung is man enough to admit he nearly shed tears. Chan straight up bawled. Even Jihoon got a strange glint in his eye.)

After, they go through the dinner-bath-bed routine that’s become familiar to them by now. The only difference tonight is that Jihoon doesn’t go to sleep with Chan this time, but pads out into the living room where Soonyoung is watching a rerun of some drama or another. He’s not really paying attention, he’s just looking for something mindless to watch. Jihoon curls up next to him, his head close to Soonyoung’s thigh.

“Can’t sleep?” Soonyoung asks, petting Jihoon’s hair gently.

Jihoon hums, but doesn’t say anything, so Soonyoung lets him be.

When the episode finishes on what Soonyoung is sure would be a terribly dramatic cliffhanger if he actually knew what the hell was going on, Soonyoung finds Jihoon’s fallen asleep. He looks so peaceful and content that Soonyoung doesn’t have the heart to wake him, so he grabs a blanket from the closet and drapes it over Jihoon to keep him warm, then leaves another folded within arm’s reach in case he’s still cold during the night.

“Goodnight,” he whispers to a sleeping Jihoon, then turns off the lights and heads to bed himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello and thank you for reading Mundane Chores with the Kwon Family, i'm sorry to have kept you all waiting so long and also i know this is all filler but I PROMISE things are Happening soon ok....
> 
> also hoovers are vacuum cleaners i refuse to bow to americanisms you may also notice i do the same with british spelling, y'all are gonna have to deal w it sorry my dudes
> 
> ALSO we broke 25k??? how long is this fic going to be?? this is so far from being complete you guys don't even KNOW
> 
> hmu @mysterywoozi on twt/tumblr i lurk there most of the time but if u wanna stroke my ego i See everything,,,
> 
> thanks again to @tinydoodler for being my cheerleader ily 
> 
> thanks for reading! <3


	10. don't fur-eeze

They wake up on Sunday morning to an inch of fluffy white snow, which of course makes Chan and Soonyoung scream with delight while Jihoon looks on with disdain. They scarf down cereal for breakfast, then bundle up in their thickest winter outfits so they can go play in the snow. Jihoon has to borrow the white coat Soonyoung barely wears because he keeps forgetting to get that little tear in its side sewn back. It is very warm, though, so thick it makes Jihoon look like a fluffy eskimo.

“Got your gloves? Hats?” Soonyoung checks once they’re ready to leave. Chan shows him his fluffy pink gloves; Jihoon pulls on a green cable-knit hat with an unnecessarily large bobble. Soonyoung wraps a thick scarf around his neck, the one littered with multi-coloured triangles that Jun gave him as a present last year, then gives his boys a quick once-over.

Satisfied they’ll be warm enough, he says “Right, shoes on,”– then pauses. “Wait, I forgot, I only have one pair of snow boots. Somebody,” he eyes Jihoon, who looks right back at him, unrepentant, “chewed a hole in my other pair.”

“You left me home alone for a whole day,” Jihoon sniffs.

“Chan was sick! And you weren’t alone, Seungkwan came over to feed you.”

“I hate Seungkwan,” Jihoon complains, (which is a lie, Soonyoung’s caught him kneading Seungkwan’s thigh before), “and I know Chan was sick, he was sick when he left.” He looks away, folding his arms against his chest. His voice is small when he speaks. “And then neither of you came back.”

God. How can Soonyoung be mad at that? Chan surely hasn’t been picking up on their conversation, but he must have noticed Jihoon’s sudden dark shift in mood, because he catches Jihoon’s fingers in his little hand. “Why sad, Jihoonie?” he asks. “Don’t be sad.”

Jihoon doesn’t say anything, just bends down and sweeps Chan into his arms to give him a hug. Soonyoung’s heart aches at the look on his face. He never knew Jihoon felt this lonely.

Soonyoung reaches over to ruffle Jihoon’s hair, but can’t thanks to the hat on Jihoon’s head, so he settles for pinching Jihoon’s cheek instead. Jihoon makes an annoyed noise and glares, but doesn’t try to swat Soonyoung’s hand away. “We _did_ come back, you impatient brat,” Soonyoung retorts, though without any heat. “Anyway, I’ll just go borrow a pair from Seungkwan. You kids sit tight, yeah?”

Soonyoung leaves them cuddling and goes next door, pounding hard on the door because he’s sure Seungkwan’s still asleep. “Seungkwan-ah,” he calls, as loud as he dares without waking the neighbours. “Seungkwan-ah, wake up!”

The door swings open shortly after to reveal an annoyed Seungkwan. “Hyung,” he says, unamused. “What could possibly be so urgent that you feel the need to knock down my door at eight in the morning?”

“You’re awake!” Soonyoung blurts out without thinking. “And… well-dressed!” He’s wearing a crisp black button down with black slacks, and his hair has definitely been gelled into that shape. Soonyoung’s confusion grows. “At 8am on a Sunday?!”

“As you can see, yes,” Seungkwan says dryly. “I’m working today. I found out that the Sunday brunch crowd are suckers for a cute face.”

“What are you doing there, then?” Soonyoung retorts, almost on reflex, and grins when Seungkwan bites back a curse and pulls a face at him. “Alright, sorry, you’re cute, you’re cute,” he assures Seungkwan, ruffling his hair.

“I don’t want your empty praises,” Seungkwan sniffs haughtily. “State your business or get lost, heathen.”

Soonyoung grins in what he hopes is an innocent and charming way. “It’s a snow day.”

“And?”

“And I was going to lend Jihoon my spare pair of snow boots to wear but I forgot there was a hole–”

Seungkwan holds up a hand to stop him. “When you say ‘lend Jihoon my spare pair of boots’,” he says, “I hope you don’t mean your cat Jihoon, because that’s the only Jihoon I know and he probably isn’t your size.”

“Oh, I haven’t told you?” Soonyoung is kind of surprised, though he shouldn’t be. It’s only been a week since he last saw Seungkwan, but so much has happened that it feels like a year. “Jihoon’s a…” better keep the same story in case Chan catches wind of what he said, “a friend who’s staying with me for a bit. And the cat’s gone to live with my sister for a while. Chan thinks the cat’s turned into a human, haha…”

His forced laugh sounds a little awkward, but though Seungkwan’s eyes narrow, he lets it go. “Whatever,” he sighs. “So you want to borrow my snow boots? What if I need them, though?”

“Seungkwan, you have _three_ shoe cabinets. I know you have more than one pair of snow boots.”

Seungkwan rolls his eyes, but pulls open shoe cabinet number three anyway and plucks out a pair of black boots with a furry inner lining. “Go on then,” he says, handing the boots to Soonyoung. “Have fun playing in the snow. Hey, drop by the café after to warm up, we’ve got some new specials today.”

Soonyoung takes the boots gratefully, beaming. “Thanks,” he says. “We’ll definitely come say hi. I’ll return these to you tomorrow?”

Seungkwan gives him a thumbs up. They exchange quick goodbyes, then Soonyoung leaves him in peace, all too ready for a day of fun in the snow.

\---

There isn’t a lot of land around their apartment building, so they head for the biggest park in town instead. It seems like lots of people have had the same idea, but the early hour means it’s still not as crowded as it definitely will be later. Chan lets out a yell at the top of his lungs and zooms around the park, excited by the snowfall.

Jihoon, meanwhile, is making a bewildered face at the kids throwing snowballs at each other. “That looks very unpleasant,” he says, which is of course invitation for Soonyoung to scoop up a handful of snow and smash it onto Jihoon’s head.

Jihoon splutters, outraged. He makes a grab for Soonyoung, but Soonyoung’s already dashed out of reach, laughing. “How– what– get back here!” he yells, giving chase.

This inevitably leads to them chucking snow at one another, shouting and giggling like schoolchildren, which of course attracts Chan’s attention. “No fair, I wanna play too!” he yells, jumping into the fray– and sides with Jihoon.

“Are you two ganging up on me?” Soonyoung cries, betrayed. “My own son, turned away from me! How could this happen…?!”

Chan giggles, bright and lovely. “Appa, you can’t bully Jihoonie,” he says, grinning.

“He was bullying me!” Soonyoung whines, because really, he might have smashed snow onto Jihoon’s hat-covered head but Jihoon literally threw snow into Soonyoung’s poor, vulnerable face. Chan isn’t listening, too busy dragging Jihoon behind the cover of a nearby tree, chattering away about how Uncle Minghao taught him the best way to make snowballs.

Soonyoung scouts out a suitable tree to use as his own cover (which, honestly, is just him picking one at random because all the trees are essentially the same) and starts building his own arsenal of snowballs. While his four-year-old isn’t a threat on his own, Jihoon is sort of terrifying, even if he hasn’t quite gotten the hang of running and throwing in his human body quite yet. With Jihoon’s deadly determination and Chan’s incredible cuteness, Soonyoung doesn’t know how he’s going to survive.

Still, he has to try. He makes a good ten snowballs before he peeks out from behind his tree trunk. As expected, Chan and Jihoon are crouched in the snow making snowballs, and because there are two of them they aren’t quite hidden by the tree. Grinning, Soonyoung lobs one over at them, aiming for the bit of Jihoon’s butt sticking out from behind the tree.

Unfortunately, his aim is a little off. The snowball splats against the tree trunk, making both boys jump and look up in surprise. Soonyoung grins at them devilishly, and gives a cheeky wink.

“Channie, get him!” Jihoon yells, grabbing snowballs and sprinting over, which is a more aggressive and honestly terrifying play than Soonyoung expected. He tries to throw them off with an onslaught of snowballs, but they give as good as they get, and Soonyoung is suddenly pelted by snowballs left and right.

“We’re doing it, we’re winning!” Chan cheers. They are, they really are, they’re closing in on him from either side of the tree, but Soonyoung isn’t ready to give up.

“Not quite yet, kid!” Soonyoung decides he has to make a tactical retreat. He gathers the rest of his snowballs up in his arms as best he can and legs it as fast as he can. They yell and run after him but Soonyoung doesn’t look back, just keeps running even amidst the snowballs being thrown at him because he knows he can outrun them both and then he can have some time to regroup.

Suddenly, he hears Chan give a loud, panicked shout, followed by a thud. His heart sinks into his stomach, all thoughts of winning abandoned, and he immediately whips around in terror. Chan’s fallen facedown on the snow, one snowball clutched in hand but the rest smashed on the ground around him. Jihoon’s already kneeling next to him, asking him worriedly if he’s okay, but Soonyoung can barely hear anything over the pounding in his ears, because Chan isn’t responding, isn’t sitting up to cry or whine or anything.

He moves without thinking; the next thing he knows, he’s by Chan’s side. “Chan, baby, can you hear me?” he asks, shaking with fear. Still no response. He swallows, gently rolls Chan onto his back. There’s no bleeding, though Chan looks like he’s been knocked unconscious. Heart pounding, Soonyoung carefully, carefully scoops Chan into his arms–

Only to have him smash a snowball into Soonyoung’s face.

“Got you, appa, got you!” Chan giggles, squirming with laughter in Soonyoung’s arms.

Relief floods through Soonyoung’s body. He can’t help but hug Chan tight to his chest. “You got me, baby, you got me good,” he sighs, still shaking. He pulls away to look Chan in the eye. “Please don’t do that again, darling, appa was so scared.”

“But appa, I’m okay! All good, see?” Chan says, raising his arms as if to show how okay he is to Soonyoung.

“I know, sweetheart, but appa didn’t know that until you told him, did he?”

Chan’s brow furrows in confusion. “But I’m okay,” he repeats, obviously still too young to really get it.

Soonyoung sighs and gives up. “I think that’s enough snowball fighting for today,” he says, catching Jihoon’s eye. He looks like he’s still minutes away from having a heart attack, which, honestly, Soonyoung feels him. Chan mustn’t have let Jihoon in on the trick.

They move on to making a snowman instead. Rolling around balls of snow, unsurprisingly, helps calm Soonyoung’s frazzled nerves. Soonyoung shows them how to roll them out, then the three of them take it in turns rolling it about. Between them, they make quick work of the base and torso balls. The top head-ball, though, Chan insists on doing himself, so Soonyoung and Jihoon sit out and watch.

“One of us should probably be looking for twigs to use as arms for the snowman,” Soonyoung sighs, “but I can’t bear to let him leave my sight right now.”

Jihoon makes an unhappy noise. “Me neither,” he admits, eyes trained on Chan. “That was… scary. I didn’t know he was going to do that.”

“I was shaking,” Soonyoung says quietly. “I hope that never happens for real.”

“It will,” says Jihoon simply, like it’s a fact of life. “Or something like it will, life isn’t that smooth. I just hope we know what to do when it does.”

Soonyoung turns to look at him in surprise. That was unexpected, coming from a man who’d been a cat only a week ago. “You’re… surprisingly deep, Jihoonie,” he says, kind of awed. “I didn’t know you were so knowledgeable about _life_.”

Jihoon snorts. “There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me,” he says cryptically.

Now Soonyoung’s curious. He opens his mouth to ask, but–

“Appa, Jihoonie, I did it!” Chan yells, jumping up and down with excitement.

Just like that, the moment passes. “Well done, sweetheart!” Soonyoung calls to him, getting to his feet and dusting the snow off his clothes. “Alright, let’s lift that onto the rest of him and see if we can find him a face and arms…”

They find some stones and nuts to make a smiley face on their snowman, and some twigs to serve as arms. Soonyoung carefully winds his scarf around the snowman just for the photos, of which he takes plenty. There’s a nice selfie of the three of them crowded around the snowman, but his favourite is a candid of Chan, sticking his tongue out in concentration as he puts in the snowman’s eyes, while Jihoon holds him up so he can reach.

By the time they’re finished, the park is swarming with people taking advantage of the early snow day, and Soonyoung’s stomach is growling.

“Let’s go warm up and get some food,” he suggests, and Chan and Jihoon cheer.

\---

Serenity is an awfully artsy-hipster thing to name a café, but Mingyu and Minghao are awfully artsy-hipster people. Not that Minghao really has any authority in decisions regarding the café, since it’s Seokmin and Mingyu’s joint venture, but Seokmin is impressionable.

Seungkwan is wiping down a table when they walk in. “Hyung!” he calls merrily when he sees them.

“Seungkwannie-hyung!” Chan cries, letting go of Soonyoung’s hand to run over and hug Seungkwan around the legs.

“And little Channie is here too, hi sweetie!” Seungkwan ruffles Chan’s hair affectionately. “Oh, and, you must be Jihoon-ssi?” he adds to Jihoon, bowing politely. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m your neighbour Boo Seungkwan.”

“I know,” says Jihoon.

“What he means is,” Soonyoung interrupts hurriedly. “I told him you lent him your shoes. Not that he’s met you before. Because that would be. Very strange.”

Seungkwan gives him a weird look. “Okay,” he says, eyeing Soonyoung suspiciously. “Anyway. Have a seat in your favourite booth, I’ll come around with menus in a bit.”

Chan leads the way to the booth by the biggest window, where they get settled and remove their assorted outerwear. Seungkwan returns with menus soon after, though honestly with how often they come here, they don’t really need them. Chan decides on French toast with bacon (Soonyoung lets him get away with because it is Sunday brunch, which is meant to be a treat anyway) while Jihoon opts for a salmon and cream cheese bagel. Soonyoung himself decides he’ll have one of the specials, a beef burger with caramalised onions and cheese in the middle of the patty. All three of them get hot chocolates, perfect for the cold weather outside.

“Hyung!” Just after Seungkwan whisks away with their menus and orders, Seokmin suddenly appears from the backdoor that hides the stairs up to the flat he shares with Mingyu and Minghao. He beams at them as he comes over. “Jihoon-hyung and Channie, too! How are you? I heard you took advantage of this beautiful snow day?”

“We built a snowman!” Chan tells him excitedly. “I made his head, it was thiiis big!”

“Oh, did you?” Seokmin coos. “Well done!”

“And and, me and Jihoonie beat appa in a snowball fight!” Chan says, grinning, like he didn’t scare the living daylights out of both Soonyoung and Jihoon.

“He cheated,” Soonyoung says dryly, narrowing his eyes at Chan in mock-annoyance.

Chan doesn’t even try to defend himself, just giggles and gives Soonyoung his innocent don’t-be-mad-appa eyes. Soonyoung just shakes his head, saying to Seokmin, “This one thought it’d be funny to pretend he was hurt to make me surrender.”

Seokmin, infuriatingly, laughs. “What a smart kid!” he praises, cradling Chan’s face in his hands and rubbing his cheeks affectionately. Which, what?!

“Don’t encourage him! I nearly had a heart attack!” Soonyoung complains.

“I think it’s genius! How else is he supposed to win against an adult?”

“You’re only saying that because you don’t have kids,” Soonyoung grumbles. “If you were there you’d have been _shitting_ yourself–”

“Appa!” Chan scolds, puffing up his cheeks. “That’s a bad word, you can only say ‘em in the bathroom!”

Soonyoung ducks his head, sheepish, as Seokmin laughs uproariously. “Yes, of course, I’m sorry,” Soonyoung has to apologise, smoothing a hand over Chan’s hair.

“Are you sure you’re the dad here?” Seokmin jokes. “Have you guys ordered? We’ve got a few new specials today…”

“Yeah, I’m going for the burger with the cheese in the middle,” Soonyoung assures him. “But, uh, if you could just bring us some tap water?”

“Yup, yes, of course,” Seokmin beams, radiant as the sun, and goes off to the drinks counter.

“Why are we getting water if we’re drinking the hot chocolate?” Jihoon wants to know, curious as ever.

“Hot chocolate alone will be too sweet,” Soonyoung tells him. “And anyway, drinking water is good for your body! Like, for your kidneys or whatever.”

Jihoon doesn’t look convinced. “Or whatever,” he repeats dryly.

“Don’t judge me, I’m a dancer, not a doctor!”

“I’ve been entrusting my diet to a human that doesn’t even know about _human_ nutrition,” Jihoon sighs morosely, though with a teasing glint in his eye. “What have I been putting into my poor, poor body…”

“Hey!”

They bicker good-naturedly until Seokmin swoops in with their water and hot chocolates. All three sigh with bliss when they take their first sips of the hot, sweet drink.

“Appa, snowing!” Chan gasps, pointing at the window.

“Ah, so it is,” Soonyoung agrees. “Ahh, hot chocolate always tastes better in the snow.”

Jihoon frowns. “It’s not snowing in here, though,” he points out, which, okay, sure, but that’s not the point!

“The point is that it’s cold out, Jihoonie,” Soonyoung pouts. “Stop making fun of me.”

Jihoon just raises his eyebrows at him and takes another sip from his mug. Cheeky brat.

“Wow, it’s getting pretty heavy,” Soonyoung observes after a moment. The snow is really coming down hard. He’s glad the car is parked so close, even an umbrella wouldn’t be very helpful in this snow.

Suddenly, he hears a high-pitched squeak of some kind, over and over, faint but distinctly there. It sounds like… mewing, from a kitten.

By the time Soonyoung turns to look at him, Jihoon’s already up and out of his seat, striding to the exit even without his coat or gloves. “Jihoon, wait,” he tries to call after him, but Jihoon doesn’t listen, already disappearing outside. Soonyoung hisses a curse, grabbing both his and Jihoon’s coats. “Channie– yes, I said a bad word, I’m sorry– stay here, okay? Appa will be right back.”

“Appa, what’s wrong?” Chan wants to know, but Soonyoung just drops a kiss to his head and pulls his coat on.

“It’s okay, nothing’s wrong, appa and Jihoonie just have something to do outside, okay? Just be a good boy and stay here, okay? Seungkwan-ah, can you watch him just for, like, two seconds? I’ll be right back, I promise.”

Seungkwan looks up, startled, from where he’s talking to another customer, but makes a quick apology to the customer and comes over to Chan immediately. Satisfied his kid will be fine, Soonyoung goes outside to look for his other kid.

Jihoon’s kneeling in the bushes outside the café, bare hands digging through the snow.

“Jihoonie!” Soonyoung rushes over and drapes his coat over Jihoon’s shoulders. “Why did you do that, you must be freezing–”

He falls silent when he catches sight of a tiny calico kitten, mewing its little lungs out, barely dug out of the snow. Jihoon scoops it up in his hands, so gentle and tender, even though his fingers are turning purple from the cold.

“Come on, come in, out of the cold,” Soonyoung says quickly, when Jihoon just looks at the tiny creature, face unreadable. That seems to shake Jihoon, and he quickly stands up and hurries into the café.

“What’s going on, what’s happened?” Seokmin is asking, worried, and gasps when he sees the kitten in Jihoon’s hands. “Oh, no!”

“We have to warm it up, we found it in the snow,” Soonyoung hears himself say. “Seokmin, do you have towels we can wrap it up in?” He doesn’t know where this authoritative crisis management is coming from because all he wants to do is panic. “We need to call a vet–”

“There’s one right around the corner,” another customer blurts out, getting to his feet. He’s the one Seungkwan was talking to earlier, Soonyoung notices. He looks like a university student. “I work there, it’s barely a five-minute walk away. I can wrap it in my scarf and run, it’ll be okay.”

He reaches out, scarf over his hands, to take the kitten from Jihoon, but Jihoon shies away from him, mistrustful.

“Jihoonie, it’s okay,” Soonyoung tries to soothe him, but Jihoon shakes his head.

“I’m coming too,” Jihoon says, voice trembling but determined.

“It’s snowing like crazy outside–”

Jihoon turns to face Soonyoung, eyes fierce and terrified and unshakeable. “I can’t leave her. You know I can’t.”

Soonyoung wants to argue, but he remembers the day he first met Jihoon, when he happened to glance in an alleyway and saw a grubby little cat lying in the snow, dangerously skinny and too weak to even meow. He takes a deep breath.

“Fine,” he concedes, “but we’re coming with you, and you’re putting on your damn coat this time!”

Chan suddenly bursts into tears from the other side of the café. Soonyoung rushes over, crouching down to Chan’s level and brushing the tears from his cheeks. “Appa,” Chan wails, clearly upset at the tense mood.

“Shh, baby, it’s okay, don’t cry,” Soonyoung soothes him, trying to keep his voice calm. He presses a kiss to Chan’s head, then stands to grab their stuff. “Appa and Jihoonie found a little baby cat outside, they’re called kittens, but it was too cold outside and we have to take the kitten to an animal doctor, okay?” He doesn’t know how much of that Chan heard, because he’s still crying loudly, but there isn’t time to calm him down. He buttons Chan into his coat, then scoops him into his arms, glad that Chan just clings to him and cries into his shoulder instead of fighting him, and grabs the rest of their stuff.

“I’m sorry about this, I’ll pay you later,” Soonyoung promises Seokmin, tossing a hat and scarf at Jihoon.

“No, no worries, just keep us updated,” Seokmin says, concerned.

Soonyoung nods back, then turns to the university student, who’s wrapped the little kitten in his scarf, leaving only its little face exposed. He’s stroking its head gently, worriedly. “Let’s go,” Soonyoung says firmly.

The boy nods and leaves at a run, Jihoon and Soonyoung hot on his heels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one week???? who AM i
> 
> (pls... don't get used to this frequency, idt it will keep up, i've just been Attacked by the writing gods everything is suddenly flowing smoothly)
> 
> i told u things would become Interesting!! ok real talk tho that thing chan did + sy's reaction?? broke my heart, i legit nearly cried that was upsetting
> 
> as usual very little proofreading but thanks to @tinydoodler and @nilsace for being Supportive and mostly sitting and nodding while i yelled about a lot of things
> 
> ALSO we broke 29k what the HECK this is almost 30k!!! it's only the beginning of the second week!!!! oh my god!!!!!!
> 
> hmu @mysterywoozi on tumblr and twitter (preferably twt bc tumblr is being Mean and won't tell me when i get messages or asks) 
> 
> also u can comment down below if u like, i'd appreciate that greatly
> 
> thanks for reading! <3


	11. purr-dicament

Finally, Soonyoung finds the time to breathe again. They’d burst into the clinic looking like madmen, snow-covered and yelling, but once the situation was explained, the kitten had been whisked away by the vet and nurses, and the rest of them were sent to the waiting area to, well, wait. Chan had continued crying for an exhausting amount of time because he’d caught a glimpse of the kitten and was terrified it was going to die, but now he’s tired himself out. He’d fallen asleep against Soonyoung’s chest while sucking on his thumb; Soonyoung gently laid him down across a few chairs instead. He tried to take Chan’s thumb out of his mouth, but it was wedged pretty firmly in there, and he didn’t dare pull harder in case the motion woke Chan up.

Jihoon, sitting next to Soonyoung, looks horrible. He’s even paler than usual, hands clasped tight together in his lap, distant eyes trained on one spot on the floor. Soonyoung supposes this is one of the things he doesn’t know about Jihoon. What happened to him, before Soonyoung came along?

“Um, here,” says a quiet voice, and Soonyoung looks up to see the student that brought them here, holding out a cup of water. “I, uh, brought it for your son, I thought he’d be thirsty after all that crying. But, I mean, he’s asleep now so…” The boy shrugs awkwardly. “I can get you coffee or something if you prefer.”

“No, thanks, water is good,” Soonyoung says, gratefully taking the cup and taking a sip. The boy smiles, taking a seat across from Soonyoung.

“I’m Hansol, by the way,” says the boy. “Choi Hansol.”

“Kwon Soonyoung,” Soonyoung replies. “My son’s name is Chan.” And then, because it doesn’t seem like Jihoon is listening to them, “This here is Lee Jihoon.”

“Is he… okay?” Hansol asks, nodding at Jihoon. “I tried to talk to him a couple times, while you were calming your son. I don’t think he heard me.”

Soonyoung hesitates. He doesn’t quite know either. “He’ll be fine,” he says eventually, because he will be. Soonyoung will make sure of it. “He just… feels really strongly about cats.”

Hansol nods. He doesn’t ask further, which Soonyoung is grateful for, on Jihoon’s behalf.

“So, uh, you work here?” Soonyoung changes the subject. “I never knew there was a vet clinic around here.”

“Oh– yeah, we only just opened a couple months ago,” Hansol explains. “We’re actually more of an animal shelter that offers vet services rather than a clinic. Of course, we’re happy to do check-ups and the like, but anything more serious gets referred to a bigger clinic.”

“And what do you do? Are you studying to be a vet?”

Hansol lets out a surprised laugh. “Oh, me? No, I just work here part-time. Well, volunteer, really, but my brother– he owns this place– he lets me live with him and eat his food, so.”

Soonyoung hums. “Don’t share his passion for animals then?”

Hansol shrugs. “Don’t get me wrong, I like animals, but I don’t think I could do what he does. Like, that little kitten we brought in? I couldn’t stand to have its life in my hands, you know?”

Soonyoung nods. He gets it. He’s often had the same thought about his sister, too, who’s studying to become a doctor.

They fall into silence. Soonyoung takes a drink of water, then sighs. Waiting is the worst part.

Hansol shifts a little in his seat. “Do you think–” He cuts himself off, shaking his head. “That kitten. Do you think–”

“It’ll make it,” Soonyoung says firmly. He can’t bear even to hear the question, not when Jihoon is like this. “Don’t even ask that. Please.”

Hansol sighs heavily. “Yeah,” he says after a moment. “Yeah, you’re right.” He pauses. “Then, do you think its mother will come back for it?”

“Well–”

“There’s no way.” Jihoon’s voice surprises them both, low and cold, factual. Soonyoung and Hansol turn to him, but he doesn’t look up. “No mother would have stayed for her.”

Something about the way he says that makes Soonyoung’s heart ache. “Why not?” Hansol asks, while Soonyoung is still formulating a response.

“Couldn’t you sense it?” Jihoon asks, emotionless. “She smelled like death.”

His words send a chill down Soonyoung’s spine. Before he can say anything, though, the examination room door swings open and the vet steps out.

Soonyoung’s breath catches. He doesn’t remember standing up, but the next thing he knows, he’s on his feet.

“Hyung,” says Hansol, sounding similarly breathless. “How– is it okay?”

The vet– Hansol’s brother?– unhooks his surgical mask from his ears to reveal a kind smile. “She’s going to be fine,” he assures them, and all of them heave a sigh of relief. “It took some time and a bit of CPR, but this little one’s a fighter. Apart from the hypothermia, she’s severely undernourished. She’s very small for her age, so we think she was rejected by her mother for being the runt of the litter.”

Soonyoung shakes his head. It’s so sad. As a parent, he can’t imagine just leaving his child like that.

…Then again, he thinks darkly, he knows at least one who would.

“Oh,” says the vet, turning to Soonyoung. “With all the excitement, I didn’t get the chance to introduce myself. I’m Choi Seungcheol, nice to meet you.”

“Kwon Soonyoung,” Soonyoung says. “The kid napping on your chairs is my son, Chan. And this is Lee Jihoon.”

Jihoon bows in greeting, just as deep as when he bowed to his meat vendor ahjumma. “Thank you,” he says, voice rough, head still bowed. “For saving her.”

Seungcheol smiles. “Just doing my job,” he says modestly. “You saved her too. If you hadn’t brought her here when you did I don’t know what would have happened.”

“What happens now?” Soonyoung asks.

“Well, we’ll keep her here for observation for a few days. After that, we’ll put her up for adoption. Are you interested in adopting?”

“Yes,” says Jihoon immediately.

“No!” Soonyoung says, horrified. “Jihoon, we can’t.”

“Why not?” Jihoon challenges, fire in his eyes.

“If I may,” Seungcheol interrupts, not unkindly. “Adopting a pet is a very serious commitment, and shouldn’t be taken lightly. We’ll have to keep this kitten with us for a few more days anyway; please use this time to discuss this matter with each other and decide what’s best for you.”

In other words, he meant ‘please don’t have a fight inside my clinic’. Which, fine, that’s fair.

Soonyoung takes a deep breath to calm himself. “We’ll talk about it and let you know,” he says. Jihoon looks like he’s going to argue, but snaps his mouth shut and turns away, arms crossed.

“Appa,” mumbles Chan sleepily, drawing everyone’s attention. Soonyoung, grateful for the interruption, goes to crouch by his side, helps him sit up. “Appa, kitty?” he asks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Kitty’s alright now,” Soonyoung tells him, smiling. “The animal doctor made her all better.”

In his sleep-hazed state, it takes a second for the words to sink in (he _definitely_ gets that from Soonyoung), but when they do, his eyes widen. “Kitty’s okay? Not hurt anymore?” he gasps, nearly bouncing with excitement. “How do you know? Have you seen her? Can I see her?”

“Well, the doctor here told us–”

Chan shakes his head impatiently. “No, appa, have you _seen_ her?” he demands. “How will you know if she’s okay if you haven’t seen her?”

“Doctor Choi–”

“He could be lying!”

“Chan! That’s not nice!” Soonyoung is horrified. “Doctor, I’m sorry–”

Seungcheol just laughs. “It’s okay, Soonyoung-ssi. You’re welcome to come see her if you like, she’s just warming up under a heat lamp right now.” He crouches down to Chan’s level, smiling. “Would you like that?”

Chan nods excitedly. “Yes!”

“C’mon then.” Seungcheol waits for Soonyoung to hoist Chan up into his arms, then leads them all into the examination room. The kitten is dozing under the warmth of a gentle heat lamp, swaddled in a warm blanket. She looks to be breathing steadily, which is a great relief.

Chan gasps and makes grabby hands at her as Soonyoung comes closer to her. “No touching,” Seungcheol warns. “You don’t want to wake her up, do you?”

“No,” Chan mumbles obediently, still staring at the kitten with wonder. “Appa, she’s so little.”

“Of course she is, she’s just a baby,” Soonyoung says gently.

“When will she be big like Jihoonie?”

“Uh, when he says Jihoonie he means my cat,” Soonyoung explains quickly to Hansol and Seungcheol, who smile and nod politely. “They have the same name, it’s a long story.”

“Appa, are we gonna take her home?” Chan wants to know, tugging at Soonyoung’s shirt.

Soonyoung is sweating. He can feel Jihoon’s eyes burning into him. “No, Channie, we’re not–”

“’Cause if we did then Jihoonie could have a baby too! Like how appa has me!” Chan declares. “And, and, Kitty could have an appa too, just like I have you!” His brow furrows a little in thought. “Oh, but, appa, you would be there, and you’re appa too, so maybe Kitty would have _two_ appas.”

“Channie, we’re not going to take Kitty home,” Soonyoung tells him, as gentle as he can while still being firm.

“We’re not taking her home _yet_ ,” Jihoon corrects. Soonyoung shoots him an exasperated look, but Jihoon isn’t fazed. “You said we were going to discuss it. That means you can’t make promises either way,” he says stubbornly. Soonyoung shakes his head. He’ll sort all of this out later.

“Doctor,” Soonyoung says instead, turning to Seungcheol. “Thanks for everything. How much was the treatment?”

Seungcheol looks surprised. “Oh, no worries, Soonyoung-ssi. We’re primarily a shelter, so we don’t charge for rescues. Of course, you’re welcome to make a donation of any amount, if you like.” He gestures at the donation box on the counter. Soonyoung goes over and drops in the standard cost for vet consultation. He really doesn’t have to, he knows, the kitten isn’t his responsibility, but he really does care for the poor thing and feels bad that he can’t take her in.

“Thank you, we really appreciate it,” Seungcheol tells him, beaming.

Soonyoung waves him off. “My pleasure, you’re doing good work,” he says honestly. There are too many strays and too few shelters in the area. “Anyway, we’d better get going. This little one–” Soonyoung jiggles Chan in his arms, making him giggle, “–will get cranky soon if he doesn’t get his lunch.”

“Are you going back to Serenity?” Hansol asks. “I’ll come with you, I never got my coffee. Hyung, do you want anything?”

Seungcheol hums. “Yeah, get me an Americano?”

Hansol grins. “Then can I use your card?”

“This kid,” Seungcheol tuts, but gives it to him anyway.

\---

Hansol is in brighter spirits on the walk back to the café. The snow’s let up too, leaving behind only a still white blanket on the streets. Chan, of course, wants nothing more than to run around and mess it up; Jihoon, evidently still pissed with Soonyoung, is walking ahead of them, keeping an eye on Chan.

“So you seemed pretty close with the workers in Serenity,” Hansol says conversationally.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, the owners were my juniors in university,” Soonyoung says. He’s thankful to them, for staying his friends even though they’d only known each other one year before Soonyoung dropped out.

“And the server?”

Soonyoung blinks. “Oh, Seungkwan?” He suddenly remembers Seungkwan had been talking to Hansol when Soonyoung made him watch Chan instead. “Oh, was he taking your order at the time? I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine, we were just making small talk,” Hansol assures him. “I go there pretty often because it’s so close by, so we sort of know each other. Never asked for his name though– Seungkwan, did you say?”

Soonyoung eyes Hansol suspiciously. Hansol is kind of a pretty boy, under his floppy, too-long hair, and Seungkwan is a sucker for pretty boys.

“He’s a good kid, really sweet and friendly,” Soonyoung says, because hey, Seungkwan’s done so much babysitting for him that it’s only fair to throw the guy a bone. “He’s my neighbour, I get him to watch Chan sometimes. You guys are probably about the same age, actually.”

They make it to the café soon after. “Hyung!” cries Seungkwan when they walk in. “You’re back! How’s the kitten?”

“She’s fine, don’t worry,” Soonyoung replies. “Sorry to run out on you guys earlier, can we have our brunch now?”

“Oh, that’s great news! Yes, of course, please have a seat,” Seungkwan says brightly. “Ah, Hansol-ssi, will you be joining them, too?”

“Ah, no,” says Hansol. “I just came for coffee, so.”

“Oh, soy latte, half-sugar?” Seungkwan asks, too cheerful. “Yes, of course, I’ll get on that for you… Soonyoungie-hyung, go on and take a seat, Mingyu will be out with your food in a bit.”

There’s something going on here. Soonyoung waggles his eyebrows wildly at Seungkwan behind Hansol’s back, but goes without a fuss when Seungkwan pointedly ignores him.

Jihoon is still sulking as they slide into their booth. Soonyoung leaves him be, chats with Seokmin who comes over to bring them their hot chocolates and water to assure him the kitten’s okay. “The way it’s looking with these two,” Soonyoung gestures wryly at his boys, “we’ll be back to visit her soon. You can come along, if you like.”

“I’ll come,” Seokmin promises immediately. “It’ll haunt me if the last I see of that kitten is of her nearly dead.”

“Alright, don’t cry,” Soonyoung says, mostly joking, but doesn’t miss the shine in Seokmin’s eye. He’s always been a bit of a crybaby, that one.

“Appa,” calls Chan, tugging at his sleeve. “Need to peepee.”

“Okay, darling, let’s go.” Soonyoung makes to get up, then pauses. Seeing a chance, he says instead, “Actually, Seokmin, could you take Channie to the bathroom?”

Seokmin raises his eyebrows. Soonyoung flicks his eyes at Jihoon. “Oh, yeah, of course,” says Seokmin quickly, taking Chan by the hand. “C’mon, Channie.”

Once they’re out of earshot, Soonyoung turns to Jihoon. This is probably a conversation they should have in private, but Soonyoung can’t deal with Jihoon’s attitude anymore. “Look,” he says, seriously. “I know you’re upset with me.”

“Of course I am,” Jihoon grumbles, glaring furiously at Soonyoung. “You’re abandoning her.”

Soonyoung feels frustration builing up in his chest. “It’s not like we’re leaving her for dead,” he argues. “Somebody will adopt her, I’m sure of it.”

“Why not you?” Jihoon challenges. “I trust _you_ , but how can I trust just anyone to look after her, to take care of her? How do I know they’ll love her?”

Soonyoung shakes his head. “People are better than you think, Jihoon.”

“Not everyone is as kind as you are,” Jihoon fires back, and Soonyoung has never heard a compliment being spat so fiercely. “I got lucky, with you. She might not.”

Soonyoung sighs, conflicted. Against his own will, he’s being swayed by Jihoon’s reasoning. Still… “We can’t provide for her,” he says, trying to sound logical. “Kittens need special food, more frequent check-ups– not to mention she’ll need a lot of attention! Once you turn–” he lowers his voice, suddenly remembering where they are, “–turn back into a cat, I’ll have my hands full with Chan and housework and with caring for you, not to mention work.”

“I can take care of her,” Jihoon says stubbornly. “Even better when I’m a cat. I can teach her, play with her, keep her company. You know that.”

“But you can’t help with the _money_ , Jihoon,” Soonyoung points out, exasperated. “That’s the main problem here, I’m barely earning enough for all three of us, and it’s even worse now you’re a human–”

“So this is _my_ fault?” Jihoon demands, outraged.

“No! I never said that!” Soonyoung bursts, and has to take a deep breath before he explodes in the middle of the café. “What I’m saying,” he says, straining to keep calm, “is that we don’t have the means to take care of her. And there are so many more people out there who _do_. It wouldn’t be fair to her if we can’t raise her the way she deserves, and it wouldn’t be fair to you or Chan or myself if we stopped spending as much time and money and love on ourselves to care for her.”

Jihoon falls silent. His arms are still crossed, and he still looks like he wants to argue, but doesn’t say anything.

Soonyoung waits, takes a drink of water. It isn’t until he sees Chan and Seokmin coming back that he says, quietly, “Let’s talk about this back home. But, please, can we try to be normal until then? I don’t want to upset Chan because we’re fighting.”

That, the mention of Chan, is what drains the fight from Jihoon’s body. He loosens up, sighing, and nods. “For Chan,” he agrees lowly, taking a sip of hot chocolate. “But we’re finishing this later.”

Soonyoung nods back, feeling a lot more settled than before. “Of course.”

“Aaaand we’re back!” Seokmin announces loudly from a few feet away, clearly trying to give Soonyoung and Jihoon time to wrap up their conversation. “Rest assured, your son is still in one piece.”

“Good to see no monsters live in your bathrooms,” Soonyoung jokes. Jihoon opens his arms to Chan, who grins and gladly takes his cue and climbs up and into Jihoon’s lap. Soonyoung suspects the cuddle is both a comfort to Jihoon and an apology.

“Everything okay, hyung?” Seokmin asks casually, clearly concerned.

Soonyoung smiles. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” he assures him. “Just hungry! What’s Mingyu doing in that kitchen?”

As if on cue, the kitchen doors swing open and out comes Mingyu, expertly carrying three plates over to them. Soonyoung thinks he sees a nearby table of high schoolers swoon; Mingyu has always looked unbearably cool in his tailored chef’s uniform.

“Beef-and-cheese burger with caramelised onions, salmon bagel with cream cheese, and a French toast with extra ice cream for the young sir,” Mingyu says, setting the dishes down in front of each of them.

Chan gasps and stares at Mingyu in wonder. “Uncle Mingyu, you’re my new favouritest person in the whole world,” he says seriously, making Seokmin laugh and Soonyoung choke.

“What about your appa?” Soonyoung complains. “Am I at least second?”

“No, second is Jihoonie!” Chan declares, which only makes Seokmin laugh even harder. Soonyoung wants to cry.

“Betrayal!” he cries, overdramatically flopping against the backrest. “My son, my one and only son, love of my life, apple of my eye, the prince to whom I have sworn my eternal loyalty and love–”

“Stop being dramatic and eat your burger,” Jihoon quips.

Soonyoung’s mouth falls open with shock. Mingyu and Seokmin roar with laughter. Chan doesn’t know what they’re laughing at but giggles along anyway, swept up in the moment. Jihoon just raises his eyebrows at him and starts digging into his bagel.

At least Jihoon can’t be that mad at him anymore. Soonyoung scoffs, mock-offended. “You see what I have to put up with?” he mourns to Mingyu and Seokmin.

“I heard your new housemate didn’t let you get away with anything, but I didn’t realise he was so funny,” Mingyu laughs. “Hi, by the way. I’m Kim Mingyu, Seokmin and I own this place. It’s nice to meet you, Jihoon.”

“Yah, he’s your hyung,” Soonyoung scolds, which, well, he’s already told Seokmin Jihoon’s the same age as him, so he has to keep up the pretense.

Mingyu looks suitably chastised. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise,” he apologises hastily, eyes wide. “You’re just so small, I thought–”

Oh no. As usual, Mingyu’s talent for putting his foot in his mouth doesn’t fail him. Jihoon pauses in between bites of his bagel, turning to narrow his eyes at Mingyu. “What did you say?” he asks, tone dangerous.

Mingyu squeaks. “No, nothing, I said it was nice to meet you, hyung-nim!”

Jihoon regards him for a moment more, but then evidently decides that food is more important and goes back to his bagel with a sniff. “Nice to meet you too, Mingyu-yah,” he says, lofty and almost absently, without even looking at Mingyu. Mingyu looks terrified. It’s kind of hilarious how cool, suave Mingyu is feeling threatened by a small man in an oversized pink hoodie.

Then again, Soonyoung has been there, and that was when Jihoon was a literal housecat, so he throws Mingyu a bone. “Don’t you two have work to do?”

“Yes, of course, work,” Mingyu says quickly. “Um, just came over to say hi, and that I got your text and I’m glad the kitten’s okay, which I’ve now said, so I’m just gonna go now, I’ll see you guys around!”

He disappears into the kitchen, moving faster than Soonyoung’s probably ever seen him move.

“It’s a wonder he didn’t break anything,” Seokmin says, which, honestly, true. “Anyway, I have to get back to work too. Let me know when you’re going to see the kitten, I’ll drag Mingyu along.”

Soonyoung gives him a thumbs-up, which Seokmin returns with a wink before going over to a table of customers trying to get his attention.

“I never liked Mingyu,” Jihoon sniffs, offended. “He’s too tall.”

Soonyoung snorts. “You used to love how tall he was, you’d climb up and try to sit on his head so you could be tall too,” he reminds Jihoon. “Hey, maybe if you’re nice to him he’ll let you do that as a human, too.”

The glare Jihoon sends him is poisonous, but somehow it just makes Soonyoung laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (can you tell i'm running out of ideas for the chapter titles... pls if u come up with any pun ideas... help me.....)
> 
> i've been Blessed by the Writing Gods it hasn't been this easy to write in the past like five years at least
> 
> (of course it might just be that i... don't want to study lmao)
> 
> also seungcheol 100% thinks they're dating/married like they came in with a kid and they're arguing about adopting a kitty what is he supposed to think
> 
> ALSO are u hype about verkwan?? i didn't mean to bring it up this early but... i guess it's a thing now lol
> 
> leave a comment if you like, i love to hear what you guys think! you can also hmu @mysterywoozi on twitter or tumblr, i'm There procrastinating pretty often...
> 
> thanks for reading! <3


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